Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!
I work at a small movie theater. One time when I was cleaning up a theater, I bent down to pick up what looked like a pile of crumpled up napkins. Once I got about 6 inches away from it, I realized it was a used diaper, but had already gone too far and had too much momentum to stop there. There it was, a sh*t filled diaper in my hand making me hate my already sh*t filled job even more. Honestly, who changes their baby in a movie theater?
I work at a grocery store as a courtesy clerk. Today, an old guy that is regularly known for having accidents in the store, walks in and must have sh*t himself, because one of the cashiers saw him walk out shaking his pant-leg as he went out the door. Later, I got a call from my boss saying that there was a trail of turds left by this guy starting from the check-stand going all the way out into the parking lot, and I was to follow the trail and clean it up.
During my senior year of high school I had a job at a local grocery store called meijer. My job was to collect carts and keep the parking lot clean. As I was taking a chain of carts into the store this woman riding an amigo cart flagged me down. I noticed as I got closer to her there was a big pile of mess on the ground and a putrid smell. I thought she had puked but turns out she sh*t in the amigo cart and wanted me to clean it up and ride the sh*t filled amigo back to the store.
When I was working at a video store I was ringing up a very old lady when I noticed a pungent smell of poo. I finished the transaction, and while the lady was walking out the door, a large piece of sh*t fell out from under her dress. She kept walking, apparently without noticing she was defecating at the time, and I figured that the worst was over, but I went around the counter to where she was standing and there was a pile of her sh*t where she had just been. And I had to clean it up.
I work at Wal Mart, and one day I got a call from an old man who had just crapped his pants and was waiting in the bathroom. I came in with a fresh pair of pants for him, which apparently wasn't enough. He made it a point for me to see and smell his mess so I could understand the need for more stalls in our bathrooms. He was pantless and covered in poo while he lectured me.