It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My roommate told me one day he had a gambling problem. I was wondering why he was telling me this when he opened the doors of the TV cabinet to find my 3,000 dollar 64 inch flatscreen gone. That f*ckhead gave it to a guy he owed 200 bucks! So I decided to con him out of his money with a 3 card monte trick. I got him hooked in after an accomplice of mine won money off of me, you know, on purpose. I ended up getting about 4,400 off of him!
Anonymous, University of Central Florida
Dearest Roomie, thank you ever so much for putting up pictures comparing me to a pig in our dorm hallways to "motivate me to lose weight." Your thoughtfulness inspired me to tell your boyfriend about all of the drunken hook ups you had while he was out working night shifts so you could two live together next year. I only did it to motivate you to be a better girlfriend and not a drunk whore. Oh, and it looks like your boyfriend doesn't mind bigger girls, seeing as we had sex in your bed for a week before he dumped your ass. Can't wait to room with you again next term!
Amanda H, Carleton U
The guy in the room next door was an absolute ass. He acts as though that he is God's gift to women. The problem is, he has loud sex every weekend. Not just loud. He teaches us every weekend that there are always new ways to tell the world about your orgasm, and acts nonchalant about it when we confront him. The thing is, he takes great pleasure in his BMW, and lets us all know how it looks like. One day, my roommate and I had enough. They were going at it like some sex-starved dinosaurs with a speech problem. I was one of the top few in Engineering and Physics and my roommate was the resident car geek. We made a spring-loaded gun and shot ball bearings up his BMW's exhaust. Serves you right for being a prick. Thank goodness you're leaving.
Anonymous, School Not Given
Remember that time you kicked me out of our dorm at 8:00 AM wearing nothing but a towel because you felt you needed some alone time to recover from your hangover a few nights ago? Well, I remember. I also took the liberty to remember how many girls you fucked in a week, and where you hid your condoms. Under MY sheets. So, I decided I'd go ahead and sprinkle the inside of your condoms with Cayenne pepper. Enjoy that "burning sensation" you always gloated to me about.
Josh H, University of Texas, Austin
Hey ex-roomie, remember how you were such an uptight asshole and you judged me for being 'sexually promiscuous' when I had only slept with 3 guys my entire life? Well, when you were working evenings at the restaurant I used to go into your room and masturbate on your bed. When I was finished, I rubbed my hands all over your pillows. I also let Corey sit naked in our big yellow chair. Ha!
Jenna L, Algonquin College, Ottawa, ON, Canada
My friends got an apartment off campus with this girl, who they'd known for a bit, and since they were dating and it was a three bedroom I eventually moved in. A few times rent was due the girl was short, and since I had a good job I'd pitch in, after about the third month we got this notice saying we never paid, we gave her the money to pay, well one day my friend opened the closet and found her sleeping in the closet. We didn't say anything but we followed her and the fat fuck was getting double cheeseburgers at McDonald's and NOT going to work with our money, so one night she was borrowing her pals car and we called the cops and reported it stolen we decided to throw a party moments after and broke into your room, and let everyone "take whatever." I hope explaining to the cops that you WERE allowed to borrow the car, and come home to all your stuff gone, was worth all those double cheeseburgers. P.S. I had sex in your bed with the guy you liked because you wouldn't let me have sex in the apartment normally.
Samantha P., School Not Given
Yo roomie, that was me that pissed on you while you were sleeping. Sorry, I was drunk and it seemed like it would be funny. It was.
Greg J, Missorui S&T