Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
5 Expressions Of Love Through Life
January 11, 2010
Katie, som kid handed me this while I was outside. He said it was for you and that it was ugent, and then he ran away again. Here you go.
Who was it?
That kid from down the street, but he said it wasn't from him, it was from "his friend". He was very specific about the quotation marks by the way.
How's it going with Katie?
I don't get it, man. I've been hitting on her real hard, but she doesn't seem to respond.
Have you tried punching her really hard on the arm?
Yes, like I just said. I've been hitting on her real hard. Pay attention.
That's wierd. That is like the best way I know to tell a girl you like her.
I know, right? I even tried to pinch her, and still there was nothing.
her? Wow, you must really like this girl, huh? There is one other thing you could try though. I saw my brother do it and they dated for a month after it. You should try tripping her feet in the hall infront of a large crowd.
I'll go do that now. I'll talk to you later.
So I hear Katie's back in town for tonight. Are you going to go talk to her?
Sure. Let's just get some beers and some vodka and some shots first, then I'll go.
Some-beers-and-some-vodka-and-some-shots time later.
Hey Katie!!! Your boobs look tired, want me to hold them?
Katie smacks Ryan across the face.
Ryan runs up to Katie in the airport just before she is about to leave.
Katie wait! Before you go home to that Barry guy, I have something I need to tell you. I love you. I've loved you since the first time I set eyes on you when we were kids. And I will always love you.
Who are you?
It's me, Ryan!
Ryan? Ryan from high school? Oh my god, I haven't seen you in like 4 years.
It's 5 years actually.
Not exactly helping yourself there Ryan. You thought that you could walk up to me after 4 years and say you love me and then I'd be yours forever? hahaha
Katie walks away laughing.
Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
You already paid me. You don't need to win me over with pick-up lines.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.