It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
N.P., Saint Louis University
I am not the typical MIT student. I like parties, drinking and sex. Im like an Asher Roth song. The point is, my roommate is a loser d-bag who thinks he is god because he got into MIT on a full ride. He is 5'8'' 235 pounds milk white kid that plays WOW when he isn't studying. He gets mad when I invite girls over to have some drinks, and can't stand when I have sex in the room. He one time walked into my room while I was involved in my first threesome and sprayed us with a watergun. I needed revenge. His most valuable possession is his 2010 Mercedes truck. I am an engineering major so I know cars pretty well. I wired his remote starter to automatically release the emergency brake which he uses to park on the steep hill by our dorm's side entrance. the last time he remote started his car to go to the library he walked outside to find his truck halfway through a concrete wall. The worst part is, he had to pay a fine. Oops, maybe now he'll get a life and I won't ruin it.
Jason B, MIT
One night I was lying on the couch watching TV in my room with a friend. I had no idea where my roommate was because he usually sneaks out to go hangout with his baseball friends or his dumbass girlfriend. So I give him a call and the phone rings right next to my face, stuck in the couch pillows. I picked it out and tried to turn down the volume by pressing the side buttons. Those buttons actually led me to a whole album full of naked pictures of his girlfriend. Her jahoobs were pretty weird.
Jake S., School Not Given
Sorry I pissed in your favorite water bottle, but I felt like I needed to get back at you for being an obnoxious prick when you're drunk. You are the lightest weight drinker among our friends, but you are always challenging us to drinking contests and bragging about how much you have drank. Furthermore, you yelled at me for leaving an empty can in your room, when I always find your garbage and water bottle in my room all the time. This is why I pissed in your water bottle before winter break and let it stew until January. I drained it out after, but never rinsed it or washed it out. That night, when you came over to drink, you immediately smelt the piss. When I managed to convince that was just the smell of booze that had been left in there, you believed it. You then proceeded to make a drink in it without rinsing it out, and I had a hard time holding back our laughter. Sorry bro, but next time, be a less obnoxious drunk.
L M, UVic
My freshman roommate introduced me to the spiciest pure pepper I had ever come into contact with. It was so potent that when she opened the jar up in the common room, my nose burned and my eyes teared from the bedroom. Almost 15 feet away. When we parted ways, she offered the jar to me and I took it because I wanted to be able to handle spicy food. Junior year I happened to room with this really bitchy girl. She never cleaned any of her dishes so they would grow mold and she always took my stuff and claimed it as her own. The worst part was that she would eat my food. See I would have no problem with this if she didn't put her mouth on my containers of milk and juice and water. I threw away many of those containers because I caught her once and the amount of backwash made me almost puke. About a month into this madness I went home for some RNR (rest and relaxation) and I happened to come upon that famous jar of pepper. I brought it home and bought a gallon of milk, smearing the pepper along the outside of the spout making sure it wouldn't get mixed in when I poured myself a glass but would definitely come in contact with lips if anyone was to chug from it. Needless to say, she took a big swig from it and then ran screaming to the bathroom. It took her almost an hour and the sink constantly running with cold water before she came out with her lips swollen and bright red. She accused me of what happened but I only picked up the milk and took a drink in front of her to prove there was nothing wrong with the milk when in fact I had become accustomed to the amount of spice from the pepper. To this day she believes she has an allergy to milk and stays away from any dairy products.
Spicy Hot, School Not Given
Hey buddy, remember when you got really, really drunk that one time and took a fat shit in my bed? I bet you don't. Enjoy the home made flash bangs I've rigged to your room door, closet door, and toilet flush handle.
Anonymous, School Not Given
My freshman year orientation we were supposed to pick our classes and then spend the night in the dorms. I skipped out to check out a frat party down the hill with my soon to be roommate to meet some people and have a little fun. After a long night of categories, beer pong, and an endless stream a good looking girls everyone was pretty drunk. The mood was starting to turn however because my roommate obviously couldn't handle his liquor. The d-bag was a loud, obnoxious, kept stealing everyone's booze, insulting the guys at the house, and eventually creeped out all of the girls that were there. When he finally passed out in the middle of the living room floor, one of the brothers he had really pissed off ran to his room and came back with a pencil, a condom, and some Vaseline. I am sure he regretted wearing gym shorts the next day when he woke up confused (and hopefully scarred for life) with a condom half sticking out of his ass. He never showed up that fall.
B. Andrews, School Not Given
At my old school, I stayed with my mate J for a while. One night I came home and the room I was staying in smelled badly of used rubbers and his smelly girlfriend. I figured that this was his house, and while it wasn't very nice of him to have sex with her on the bed I was using, it was just a one-off so I didn't say anything. Every night for the next week I returned to the same smell. On the last night of the year he had a party at his house. I caught the bastard pissing in a bottle. He told me it was for a prank. The next day I turned on my windscreen washers and they smelled like piss. About six months later I was there for another party and while he was having sex with his pungent girlfriend me and some friends put bleach, toothpaste and Mace in a jar of KY we found in the bathroom.
J. Johnson, School Not Given