As a recent graduate, I've begun to notice slight differences in the way I live my life, post-college. Once the initial sense of freedom wore off and the slow, sinking feeling that the days of partying til 3 a.m. and stumbling into class still drunk were long gone set in, I started jotting these differences down. Here's what I've come up with. . .thus far.

Life Difference #1

College Life
Throwing water balloons out of your dorm room window at innocent bystanders hilariously fills a lazy afternoon between your Stats class and your Biology lab.

Real Life
Throwing water balloons out of your apartment window at innocent bystanders usually ends in some type of misdemeanor conviction and an eviction warning from your complex manager.

Life Difference #2

College Life
Most of your Saturday mornings are spent asking yourself the following questions: What happened last night? How did I get home? Where are my pants?

Real Life
Most of your Saturday mornings are spent asking yourself the following questions: Do I have time to do a load of whites before Mark and Jessica's wedding? What was the date of Sarah's baby shower? Did I remember to DVR that episode of House?

Life Difference #3


College Life
Most of your money goes towards beer.

Real Life
Most of your money goes towards paying back your college loans and wishing you hadn't spent all that money on beer.

Life Difference #4

College Life
Objects used to make grilled cheese: butter, bread, cheese, clothing iron.

Real Life
Objects used to make grilled cheese: butter, bread, cheese, skillet, actual stove top.

Life Difference #5

College Life
Things you look forward to: graduating and going off into the real world.

Real Life
Things you look forward to: the day when it is socially acceptable to wear Velcro shoes because you've officially become too lazy to actually bend down and tie them.

Life Difference #6

College Life
Power hour.

Real Life
Power nap.

Life Difference #7

College Life
Double shot.

Real Life
Double coupon days at the local grocery store.

Life Difference #8

College Life
Proudest accomplishment: Writing an entire 25-page research paper (that you had 10 weeks to write) two hours before it's due.

Real Life
Proudest accomplishment: Staying up late enough to watch Jimmy Kimmel.

Life Difference #9

College Life
Common phrases used include: "Spraying Frebreeze on this is pretty much the same thing as washing it, right?" or "I woke up spooning a loaf of Jimmy John's bread and I have no memory of where the bread came from, why I was spooning it or why I wasn't wearing any pants" or "You like this shirt? I got it for free when I signed up for a Visa card on my way to Spanish."

Real Life
Common phrases used include: "I bent down to pick something up this morning and it took me five minutes to get back up" or "I saved $3 on that with my Kroger Plus Card" or "You damn kids, you get off my lawn before I call the cops."

Life Difference #10

College Life
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is your sole source of news information.

Real Life
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is your sole source of news information. Only now that fact is sad.