It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Anonymous , Jacksonville University
I am the one who covered your fancy car in eggs, candy, and dog feces last May, Jessica. Never make fun of my nephew's Down Syndrome.
Marie R, UofL
One day I decided to take some old rotting fish from a nearby market and rub it on every conceivable surface throughout my neighbors room (The two rooms are connected through the bathroom we share). I'm not really sure why I did it. I guess I was just bored after you sold my PS3, HDTV, and Blu-Ray player for cocaine you retarded sh*t-bag!
Brandon J., ECU
My neighbors have consistently been loud at very unusual times, such as Mondays at 3am. After a few times of politely asking them to cease and desist, my roommate and I grew weary of their shenanigans, which we could hear very clearly through our CEMENT walls. So after some poor pranks and a trip to the RA, we took matters into our own hands when they left a suitcase out in the hallway for a week. We kicked it towards their door in hopes they'd bring it in. Unfortunately for the eyesore, I came home very wasted one late night and pulled the trigger
into their bag. Not content with my insufficient amount of vomit, my roommate took an entire jar of pickle brine and poured it in. Next was a quart of generic brand V8. Happy packing!
One day while my roommate was in class, I overheard his girlfriend talking on the phone about an approaching job interview she was nervous about. I offered to help her out, and we kinda role-played the
interview. It started out innocent, but turned into the most incredible "girl bangs boss for a job" fantasy I could have ever imagined. She didn't get the job.
Tino S., NYIT
Hey Rob, remember that weekend when you used my computer to play Counter Strike when I was home visiting my parents? Remember how when I came back to find my computer was mysteriously a brick and you swore you didn't know why? Well I know it was you that put that cs.exe line into my autoexe.bat file. You're not as clever as you seem to think you are. Remember how later on that year all the MP3s you downloaded were mysteriously deleted off of your hard drive every time you turned your computer on? Also remember how no matter what you did you couldn't get your web browser to navigate to anything that wasn't a gay porn site until you completely reformatted? Yeah, unlike you I'm not a homophobe, and our gay hallmate was more than happy to give me a list of all the good sites to torment you with. So no. It didn't prove how gay the virus programmer was (hint: there was no virus you 'tard. I had your autoexec.bat file run a script that replace a number of files in your computer every time you restarted that limited your external ip access to a limited list of sites). Thanks for leaving your un-passworded computer turned on when you went to class with a pissed-off computer science student alone in the room. My only regret is that after I convinced your girlfriend that you were secretly gay, I wasn't able to bang her. More than twice.
J.Y., Washington State University
Dear suitemate whom I never really knew: You never got an answer as to why I sang opera at the top of my soprano at three in the morning. The reason was you and your lazy boyfriend singing your "duet" the rest of the hours of the day. P.S. If you're gonna be loud about it, at least fake it convincingly.
Kate L., U of Toronto
I just found my roommate's vibrator. My roommate's name is Gregg. Gregg is a guy. I'm moving out.
Jason R, Ferris State University
When my ex came back to town (she moved to another college) I knew she was having an affair (another relationship for that matter) but she'd never admit it. Anyway long story short, the night before she had to leave again she fell asleep after sex, I took the liberty of writing (with a real fucking strong marker) "Aron was here" on both of her ass cheeks without telling her. Needless to say the other guy found out what happened and she couldn't afford to say a word to me. Justice.
Aron D.J., School Not Given