As if you really needed a list.

1. Make a list of all the things you'd rather do than your homework. Send that list to CollegeHumor. Become a published freelance blogger. Use your popularity as a platform of which to launch your career as a widely renowned author. Move to New York. Secure an extravagant book deal. Win the Pulitzer Prize. Then say, "I told you so."

2. Eat. Then, eat more. Tell your parents you're training to become a sumo wrestler.

3. Make moon boots. How? Who knows. We predict you'll need at least 7 jumbo bags of marshmallows, 30 yards of duct tape, and an engineering degree from M.I.T. You can probably buy all of that online for less than 50 bucks.

4. Learn to surf. If you don't live near water, do something equall dangerous, like training komodo dragons to sell McDonald's breakfast burritoes or become a licensed SAT instructor.

5. Do 50,000 situps. Then admire your abs in the mirror. Or call an ambulance. Whichever seems easier.

6. Find a stopwatch and time yourself saying the alphabet. If you can do it under 30 seconds, congratulations. What, you want a prize? The kind of talent is a reward in itself.

7. Obsessively stalk every single person on your Facebook friend list. Memorize insignificant details about them and causally bring these details up in conversation. For example,

You: "So, Jim, I've noticed that in 17 of 46 of your previous profile pictures you're wearing some variation of a polo shirt.