Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!
I work at an ice cream store. One day a large man came sprinting into the store to use the bathroom. He was later followed by his wife and child. During his 30 minutes in the bathroom, his 4 year old daughter peed on the floor. After he left, the entire store reeked. It wasn't until a few hours later when we closed that we could clean the bathroom. I had to let the bathroom air out for a few minutes before I was able to bear the smell. Diarrhea was splattered all over the toilet, walls, and trash can. As I emptied the trash I found his soiled clothing. How he left without his clothes I do not know.
I work at an amusement park by the name of Dorney Park. This past summer, on my last day of work, a woman screamed at me until I cried and then proceeded to threaten to beat up my supervisor. All over a Scooby Doo ring toss prize. Can't wait to return this summer.
-Corinne, Ithaca College
I'm a full time fire fighter and we mostly run medical calls with the local paramedics. One time we had a call to the local "All You Can Eat" Buffet. We were about 10 paces behind the paramedics when a couple sitting at a booth nearby looked at the two medics and said, "you're gonna need more than two of you!". They were right. This massive woman blew out her leg right at the buffet. The best part(s). 1. Fatty's continued through the line, passing her on the floor, then proceeding to fill up their plates and 2. Her enabling mother kept interrupting our assessment to ask her if she wanted more "dumplin's" in a to go container.
I was going through basic military training for the US Air Force and had made it over halfway through, but had been sick with the flu for about three weeks straight. I was sent to see a doctor and she informed me I was being put on medical hold, pending a possible medical discharge if I didn't improve. I jokingly responded "Yeah right, if I get discharged I will shoot myself " She didn't think it was as funny as I did. I was put on a suicide watch in a psyche ward for 48 hours just in case.
To earn money for college I got a part time job as a janitor. Whilst cleaning a wall covered in decades of grime using a pressure washer, my friend and I thought it would be funny to blast/draw a 10 foot high penis into the wall using the washer. Unfortunately, the machine then broke just as we'd finished drawing and just as our supervisor walked in to check on us. We were both fired and there still remains a 10 foot high penis engraved an inch deep into that high school wall.
-James, Luton (England)
I used to work as a guide in a Space Science Center. One of my first tours, a middle-aged woman asks me a question about other planets. How there is one you can see from Earth with the naked eye. I reply that, yes, indeed, there are five. They look very small, like stars do, because they are so far away. Mercury, Venus, Mars She interrupts me : what's the one that's very big, like a dime, that you can see sometimes at four in the afternoon? The Moon? "Oh, that's the Moon?" Yes, that would be the Moon
I work in a call center for a sales network. One day we were selling stainless steel pots and pans on the show. Well I get a call from a customer interested in purchasing the pots and pans and while placing the order she asks me, "Can you cook on the stove with these pots and pans?". Another customer that same day also inquired to me, "Can I use the pots and pans in the microwave?"
In the summer, I work at a swimming pool as what some would call a "janitor." I prefer "maintenance man." Well anyway, I'm coming in to start my shift and the guy who worked before me tells me on his way out, "Hey by the way, someone wrote their name in sh*t. Enjoy." I look in the bathroom and see "JON" on the wall written in straight poo. Long story short; I almost quit. Honest to God, one of the worst smells I have ever endured. So Jon, wherever you are, you're a sick f*cking sadist and I will get revenge.