It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
You're a great roommate, but the facebook pranks got kind of old. Sorry about inserting that line into the middle of your resume declaring your innocence of the crimes for which you served 3 years in state prison, I didn't think anyone would take it seriously.
Chris H., Kalamazoo
My roommate this past semester was a hateful, pathetic nuclear engineering major with a three foot long pony tail. She never bathed, shed her nasty hair everywhere, smelled, and went to bed between the hours of 8:30 and 10 pm every day of the week. If I ever got too loud at night, she would always wake up and "tell me to take my activities elsewhere", even if it was only 11. When i didn't comply, she stole my $100 calculator, took my food, broke one of my lamps, and never let me watch TV even if a game was on. All the while she would ignore me and do homework 24/7 unless I did something wrong. By the end of the semester this year, I had had enough. Notice a little trim to your hair? I cut about 6 inches off, but I dunno if you will notice. That's what you get when you leave your Rapunzel ass ponytail hanging off your lofted bed at 11 p.m. when your asleep.
My roommate freshman year moved out during our second semester because I didn't say hi to him three times and it was making his life unbearable. Go figure.
Tim T., School Not Given
My roommate is the kind of guy that takes steroids and spends every waking minute at the gym and he always has his ipod in and I barely talk to the guy. I always figured he would be listening to something heavy, the screen said ABBA.
Andrew T. School Not Given
Every weekday at 7:30AM an alarm clock (with bass that could shake the great pyramids to pieces) goes off in the apartment above, waking me. Very often, my neighbor will hit the snooze only to trigger the radio, which is a mix of rock and talk radio. Again, the bass is loud enough that I can hear every note and word. I mentioned it politely to them several times before taking matters into my own hands. Every morning around 6 when I get home from work, I go down to the basement and shut off the circuit breaker for that stupid alarm clock and flip it back on. I did this at first for a week to see if they would get the hint. They did not. So, I started turning it off completely. However, soon I awoke to this neighbor screaming at their housemate, apparently agitated that they were going to be late to work. Eventually, when I thought it was all over, I was yet again awoken to the very loud alarm clock. When I went down to the basement to flip the breaker, I found that that breaker no longer worked because they had switched outlets thinking their was something wrong with it. I felt a little bad after this neighbor was fired for being late to work so much because they "slept in", but it still happens every now and again, so I just shut off the power to their entire apartment. This has been going on for almost 2 years now. I'm moving out soon.
Joshua Katz, University of Cincinnati
Hey Ashley remember when you asked my fiance to come over and "tutor" you in Calculus a few weeks ago and then you tried to make out with him? Remember last week when your hair started falling out in huge chunks? Yeah, that wasn't because you were stressed about finals. It was because I put Nair in your new shampoo. Happy Holidays from your former BFF!
Lucy B., Brown University
Last year I lived in a house of 5 people, 2 of who were big into World of Warcraft. For those who haven't had the pleasure of living with someone who loves WOW, they can become drones and slaves to the game and basically become useless as housemates. After 2 months of their zero contributions, leaving dishes not done, loud music etc. I decided to take action. I'm reasonably good on computers and figured out a way to mess with our wireless router remotely, eventually I could slow their game to a standstill, disconnect them completely and keep the net down for now apparent reason for 20minutes at a time. It got to the point where I would go into the room they would both be playing in( while listening to incredibly loud dubstep) and ask if they were doing anything 'important' in the game I'd use my iphone to then mess with the net while standing there. There is something incredibly funny in them getting furious at the net provider while I'm laughing my head off. Vindictive? Maybe, Hilarious? definitely.
Matt B., University of Bath, UK
Hey Scott. Do you remember how you wold leave your dirty, sweat drenched socks lying in the living room every night. And how I would politely ask you to pick them up. And how you were to stupid or lazy to ever clean up after your self. I've been throwing your socks away for the last two months. That's why you don't have any more.
Grant Hyde, Grand Valley State University
My roommate used to get on my computer and respond to Craigslist ads for random sex when I was asleep. I would get on my computer and constantly get IMs from skanky girls and it got a little annoying after a while. I think changing his e-mail settings so that all incoming messages would be forwarded to his mom's account and all outgoing messages were automatically cc'd to her was worth it. Not as much as his priest inviting me to the "sex addict" intervention his mom had requested though.
Jesse Smith, LSU
Dear Roommate, you STINK. We've been in school for two months and you've showered TWICE. And it's funny that you don't know. Ever wonder why people part like the Red Sea when you come through? Or why people refuse to come to our side of the apartment? Or why random people burst into laughter when you walk by?? I hope u see this so now next time I squirt you with dish washing liquid, and push you outside during a rain storm, you'll know why.
Anonymous, Texas Southern University
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