MOTHER: Welcome home, sweetheart. How was school?
DAUGHTER: Fun! We played Simon Says, then we traded Valentine's Day cards! Look, Michael DeSotto gave me one.
MOTHER: Oh, that's wonderful, sweetie.
DAUGHTER: And here's another from Bradley. Hey, this one has Catwoman on it!
don't understand. Both of these boys gave you cards?
DAUGHTER: I also got one from Marcus Shanker.
MOTHER: Three men? Jesus, Kimberly, have some self-respect. I know you're young, but
DAUGHTER: And look, Simon Lachance gave me one, too!
MOTHER: You whore.
DAUGHTER: Simon Lachance likes the monkeybars.
MOTHER: Oh, I bet that drives you wild, Kimberly! Doesn't it? My Daughter the Tramp, everyone!
DAUGHTER: Look, Dylan gave me one, too. Dylan sits behind me. He eats paste.
MOTHER: (slamming table) I'm not interested in what gets Dylan off. Christ, is every swinging dick in that class giving you cards?
DAUGHTER: Hey, Suzie Tessio gave me one, too!
MOTHER: Suzie? Is she some kind of rebellion? Were your father and I really that terrible?
DAUGHTER: And one from Michelle. Look, it's a Dora the Explorer one!
MOTHER: Give me that box. (looking) My God, there
there must be 25 cards in here.
DAUGHTER: Oh, I hope Bobby Norland gave me one!
MOTHER: What kind of sick, slithering orgy are they running there? I can't believe this. My own daughter, a ruined woman!
DAUGHTER: Bobby Norland makes raptor noises at lunch.
MOTHER: (slaps her) And there will be no more disgusting love letters from boys like
like "Bobby Norland."
DAUGHTER: (suddenly dead serious) But I love him, mother.