How do you feel about Dr.Jacob's Magick Heath Pills?

Would you buy these pills again?

On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the lowest and 5 being the highest, and just don't even mention 6, trust us, how do you feel about them Cubbies?

In one word, how would you describe your loveless marriage? Loveless?

Don't you agree that the FDA should just chill out for once about seizures?

If a someone you trusted told you that Dr.Jacob's Magick Health Pills were unrelated to your hallucinations, would you believe them?

How trusting are you of poorly disguised homeless men? What if they weren't black?

Did you find the above sentence racist? On a scale from "No", to "Nah", please waive your right to make us go through sensitivity training again.

Would you feel better if we told you that the hair-loss would have happened sometime anyway, so hey, might as well get it all over with?

If we told you that Sarah Palin was, I don't know, some sort of Robo-MILF, programmed from the dumb but kind-of hot future, would this distract you sufficiently from suing us?

You didn't want to have children anyway, right?
Look, if we get sued again, my girlfriend is going to be so mad. On a scale from one to ten, why must you be such a dick about this?

Ok, well she's not really my girlfriend, this girl who lives down the street is all "get away from me" and I'm all "baby, just relax" and then she goes all crazy-go-nuts and yells at me. So like, what's her deal? Include diagrams as applicable.

So, uh, want to hang out sometime?