Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!
I used to work at this disgusting local fast food joint. I worked with the greasiest guy you could imagine. During my shift, I had to hit the urinals. I then heard a series of grunts and one long drawn out moan, along with the faint sound of skin slapping on skin. I realized that the greasy dude was infact, pleasuring himself during his 15 minute break. It was 9 in the morning on a Tuesday.
I work at an off-track betting parlour so I meet some weird people. Yesterday, a crackhead came in and sat down for about 15 minutes and just stared into nothingness. Suddenly, she gets up and walks over to another customer and gives him the stare down for almost a minute without saying a word. She goes back and sits down, proceeds to piss her pants.
I work at a god awful grocery store as a cashier and a couple years ago an older man walked in the store and proceeded to customer service where he demanded to talk to my manager. After about twenty minutes, the guy walked off heated and my manager comes over, dying laughing. He tells me the guy came in and was blaming our store for giving him crabs so he demanded we watch the tape of yesterday to see if anybody threw the crabs on him. His explanation for the whole thing was "I came here yesterday without crabs and today I have crabs." I wish I could have watched the tape.
I work at a Box Office at a Theatre in Toronto, and a woman was calling in to buy several theatre subscriptions for the coming season. She asked if I could make sure that at least one of the tickets per show was wheelchair accessible, while jokingly adding that she should get the best seat out of the bunch because she is buying for all her friends. I replied with "Of course, you should reap all the benefits, you are doing all the leg work!" There was a silence on the other end as she quietly reminded me that the wheelchair seats are for her, and continued with the rest of the order. The rest of the phone call was more than a little awkward.
I work at a sporting goods store and one night a customer called and asked for help in my department, fitness. She said her son is 17 and she wants to get him something he can use to work out, as he is getting into going to the gym after classes and looking fit. I told her simple gift ideas, like dumbbells and kettle bells and she obviously had no clue what she was looking for. She then told me that her husband had gone into his room and found some stuff, then paused. I'm thinking he found some dumbbells or a pull up bar, something for me to go on and give her more ideas, but no. She says they think he's gay. So I responded " Ok?" To which she responds to by breaking down and crying. I hung up while she was still sobbing.
I have unfortunately worked at a BK, and there was a huge bump to get into the parking lot. One day, we all started smelling something horrendous and couldn't figure out what it was. A guy comes in a say, "there's shit all over the parking lot." Turns out, an RV tried going over that huge bump and busted it's septic tank in the process. Apparently, the RV decided to just drive away, leaving a huge trail of human sh*t across the parking lot. Instead of calling the fire department, our boss made us clean up all the feces with brooms and dustpans and had us pour Pine Sol everywhere to cover up the smell.
And the "This Guy Gets It" award goes to
I work at a (clothing store/ restaurant / gas station/ old folks home) and one day a (customer/ coworker/ fat person/ old person) spontaneously (vomited/ defecated/ urinated) all over (themselves/ the floor/ the wall/ the bathroom/ the garbage can) and made a huge mess and then left. It smelled so bad but i had to clean it up because my manager is a jerk and I (was docked a weeks pay/ blamed for the mess/ didn't even get overtime pay).