Shia LaBeouf does more than just ruin whatever movie he's in. He has the unique ability to take an entire franchise, mount it, and drive it screaming over a rocky cliff. Whether it's a simple beloved toy line (Transformers) or the champion of modern adventure movies (Indiana Jones), seemingly nothing can escape the death-touch of LaBeouf.
With Wall Street II coming up, we decided to examine the history of Shia LaBeouf, and uncovered a secret that goes back generations. Behold
the curse of the LaBeouf family line.
Shia LeBeouf's most recent disaster came in the form of a vine-swinging motorcycle greaser in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Here Shia really shines, coming out as arguably the worst part of a movie that entirely consisted of worst parts.
Despite being a blasphemously expensive pile of explosive garbage, the first Transformers movie managed to make back a handsome profit by employing the common Hollywood blockbuster strategy of "being a blasphemously expensive pile of explosive garbage."
Now here's where things get interesting. Apparently, Shia's not the first member of his family to be hit by the curse. Tragedy has been the constant companion of the entire LaBeouf line
Shia LeBeouf's older brother Ira, the family's first actor, made his big break in Francis Ford Coppola's long-awaited Godfather sequel as an ex-Navy SEAL turned cook who must stop a gang of terrorists when they seize control of a US Navy battleship.
In 2001, the notorious energy company filed for bankruptcy after discovering that their chief financial officer, Richie "The Numbers" LaBeouf, had never actually graduated from high school.
Presidential Advisor Everette LaBeouf was beloved by Richard Nixon for his legendary Dean Martin impersonation. Unfortunately, it was this very thing that proved to be the administration's downfall when Everette mistakenly left the Oval Office recording system on after a performance, inadvertantly capturing over 16 consecutive hours of self-incriminating speech by Nixon.
First Mate LaBeouf was also the chief officer in charge of the RMS Titanic's limbo contest. The loud whistles and steel drums from his late-night celebration continued until almost midnight, distracting the watchtower long enough for over a hundred thousand pounds of ice to sink the vessel, bringing a tragic end to the limbo party which First Mate LaBeouf famously described as "unsinkable."
LaBeouf's distant ancestor built the family fortune as a rat importer in 14th-Century Europe. He is also believed to have originated the LaBeouf Curse when he spat on an old Gyspy woman, as was considered fashionable at the time.