McDonalds: The Player/ The Bad Boy

Your popular and every one, for the most part seems to like you. Your attractivness is undenyable to both men and women, and people of all creeds, colors and religions can agree on your "likeablitiy". Its apparent you clean up DAMN GOOD.
But once examined in an intimate setting your true attributes become known:

you gressy,
sloppily put together
probably stricken with daddy issues
and just all around bad for everyone

One things for sure, People have loved and will continue to enjoy thoughtlessly putting you in their mouths for years to come.

Burger King: The Wanna-Be

When finally fed up with that other jerk. You are the next stop. You try to possess all the core characteristcs of the player, even conjuring up half ass bells and whistles of your own. But your secretly a nice guy. Essentially putty in hand; where else can I have it my way!?

I mean yeah… your pretty similar but in our heart of hearts we know its just not the same. When we’d much rather wrap our lips around a nice, fat , juicy, dripping BIG MAC.

We… we pukes in mouth alittle settle for your Whooper Jr,

Depressing…


Zaxby's: The Intagible Dream

The one whose not particularly good or bad. But the want is so great!
when you walking in the mall and all those other failures to the gene pool bat their lashes. You dont see becasue you're waiting patiently in this guys line. with every one and their mom
He's like a drug.

(Why the hell are chicken strips that good)

But he's clearly over priced and over rated!
So you pacify your needs some where else.


Wendy’s: The Friend

Oh man, You are in the friend-zone something horrible!
We like you just not how you like us. Always begging us to come over. Your way too attainable.

I mean Wendy is now open late. Stop being such a little bi-otch! Make us wait on you. You had P. Diddy in you commercials, have you no pride?! But I digress)

Your ALWAYS there. Whether its a for a quick snack, or I just want to mooch off free water and sit in your kitchen on hot a summer day.Your dependable and therefore we’re just not that in to you, in a committal way.

Until you get something new that everyone’s talking about then she might let you cop a cheap feel to keep you on the hook



Taco- Bell: The Easy Lay

"I'm not that kind of girl", "I don't usually do this kind of thing". " This is just a one time thing"

What ever excuse shes uses to justify her whore-mongering actions, it doesnt matter, You already know. When theres an insatiable hunger deep down within our loins. Your the Booty Call. In times of exteme intoxication, inebreation or sheer desperation your the eternally meaningless one night stand on stand by. There are no residual feeling left over

beside maybe alittle guilt

But not to sell you short. Your pretty good at giving us what we need quick, but not too quick, so we keep coming back.


Subway: The Guy Thats Good For Us

Every one likes you for all the right reasons
You look good on paper.
Your aesthetically pleasing to the eyes of course
Your wonderous with people of all ages. (even grandma said she'd blow you)
You probably made straight A's from grade school to grad school and do some sort of commuity service on weekends involving feeding baby birds from your own mouth.

But for some reason theres no chemistry.
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The moral of the story: go eat in the dinning hall DUH!