on the morning of December 6th 2009, i completed my final Dispensing Optics exams, which will undoubtedly determine my future (now there’s a scary thought). So before the exams had begun, I made sure I sat down and got to work, revising day after day, night after night, weekend after weekend…. well anyway, before I bore you with my work routine let me just cut to the chase.

YOU STUPID MORONIC IDIOTS KNOWN AS JOURNALISTS, STOP DISTRACTING ME WITIH YOUR CELBRITY NONSENSE!

It wouldn't be the first time that the press has caused anger, whether it be through the paparazzi, political scandals, or just good old fashioned swearing on live television, we can always count on the fact that live news feeds will somehow or someway tick somebody somewhere off.

Now one of the biggest things that has shocked the world into crying/anger fits is the death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.
there were those who cried over the loss of this musical genius, then there were those who angrily punched the nearest object, because they just realised that they had spent £500 on eBay for a single concert tickets and will most likely not get there money back, because the man who sold it to them, happened to be a "business man" from Lagos, Nigeria.

So let me tell you my thought process during the first day of all of this:
1) Oh how Sad
2) The music industry has taken a big hit today
3) Oh well, time to get back to work.

It took about a day for me to get over MJ's early demise. maybe my exams forced me to man up, and get on with my life, or maybe I’m secretly a cold heartless fiend who couldn't give a damn about the world…. I like to think it was my exams that got me through this because I did make a Facebook group dedicated to him, and I’m really not that evil.

Now the unfortunate fact about Michael Jackson is that whatever he does or wherever he goes, the paparazzi/press will not be far behind. To be fair, in this particular case they did us a service by informing the world of this horrible incident. Though in other cases, they can be rather annoying. For example: 

I don't give a damn that MJ might have slept in an Oxygen tank
I don't give a damn about where he stayed during his trips to London
I don't give a damn that he chose to hid his children's faces when they were younger (although I do have to say that if you were as famous as he was, you wouldn't want anyone knowing what your children looked like, just to spare them the torture caused by these pit-bull we call journalists).

By this point, you’re probably wondering what all of this has anything to do with my exams… well let me tell you.

Normally each morning, while making my way to the library, I like to pick up the newspaper. Now in this case, it was pretty obvious what was going to be in there. What I was expecting was a page or two about what had happened to Michael. But what I got was 8 pages of literature on the history of the King of Pop, from his days with the Jackson five all the way to his O2 concert dates, and finally his Death.

I quickly became bored, and started revising. The next day, more scandals were reported about where he is going to be laid to rest, and something else about his Will. Now don’t get me wrong, I can understand the need to keep people informed. But the more these nitwits write about MJ’s life and death, the more people seem to call me and distract me from my much needed revision time.

It hasn’t only happened in this case. Every single frigging time that some celebrity does something that is determined news worthy, I get a call or a text or an email telling me about it!

Since when did wardrobe malfunctions become news? Why the hell would anyone care about the weight of some Pop diva? What happened to real news, about real politics, have-a-go heroes, and lost children? It as though all anyone seems to cares about these days is to do with celebrities/wannabe celebrities, and what they do with they’re free time!!! 

There is a word for you people who report this type of news. Unfortunately, it’s too rude to put into this article

Real news is slowly becoming obsolete, and it will be a very sad day when the top story at 10:00pm news, is that Britney spears has become pregnant, after a 5 day marriage which ended in divorce, due to lack of communication.

So to conclude my rant against the people who have forgotten how to report issues that actually matters. You are Imbeciles and you don’t deserve your jobs.


“A petty reason perhaps why novelists more and more try to keep a distance from journalists is that novelists are trying to write the truth and journalists are trying to write fiction.” – Graham Greene