A new year is upon us, and it's time for resolutions. Here are some ways to improve yourself in this year of the boar:

  • Eat rice
  • Befriend a dragon
  • Read Confucius
  • Buy some fireworks
  • Meet Confucius
  • Watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon again; learn to fly
  • Kill Confucius
  • Use the fireworks to scare away the man-eating nian beast
  • Eat more rice
  • Build a giant wall to keep out the Mongolians