Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me at dating.itscomplicated[at]gmail.com

My girlfriend doesn't want me to say I love you, tell her happy birthday, or in any remote way approaches anything cheesy on her Facebook because she is scared to death that it will be put up on lamebook.

-Joshua

I started dating this girl I met at my college. After a while, things didn’t work out and we broke up. We used to talk a lot on the instant messenger and one day this random chick starts chatting with me. I knew it was her and I couldn't stop laughing when she started trying to be my friend and convince me to get back with my ex.

-Kyle

So its Sophomore year in my high school and i just started getting back into the dating game after a horrible break up, I meet this girl in my English class by the name of Lindsay and we get interested and start to date. One day she thought it would be "cute" if she bit a piece of food sticking out of my mouth, and at the time she had braces on. So when biting the food out of my mouth she pretty much ripped a piece of my lip off and I was bleeding. She never apologized and in fact said it was all my fault for "not holding the food out right". A week later I broke up with her. 
-Alex K

After school one day, I'm in my girlfriend's room while she's in the bathroom. To surprise her I decide to take all my clothes off and lay under the covers. Little did I know that he little sister was came home while I was situated under the covers. She knows what's up most of the time and does half-joking "clothes checks" when my girlfriend and I are together. She did one and ripped the covers off the bed. To her (and my) horror she sees my naked body. Instead of being scarred for life, she now uses it as blackmail whenever she wants me to do something. I hate my life.
-Dave, Connecticut

Today I was talking to a girl I sort of like, and she was saying how a family member had given her Pacman when she was a kid.  She said she loved it, but "had no idea she was the yellow circle guy until recently.”   …She thought she was controlling the ghosts…

-Nathan

 

Back in college my buddies and i would hit up an all you can eat sushi bar.  We would always get more than our moneys worth and walk away almost sick.  I’m not a big guy but one night, i ate over 60 pieces of sushi, which did not go over well. The whole next day I felt it churning, but it didn’t affect my day until I was hanging out with a girl i had just started dating.  I was in her dorm room and we started going at it.  Things started getting heated and then all of the sudden I knew shit was about to go down. Literally.  She basically had me pinned when I abruptly said I had to leave. She looked at me and said, “Seriously? Right this second?" I couldn’t think of a better excuse than that I had to meet up with my friends cause I promised I would.  She looked at me like I was crazy, but I ran out of her dorm room and bolted to the public bathroom in the lobby. I made it just in time before I had explosive diarrhea.  I’m pretty sure she felt like she did something wrong or that I would rather hang out with my friends than fool around with her. It probably was a shot to her self esteem, but I never told her that I just really had to poop.
- Jordan

So, a few months ago I asked my girlfriend to go with me to the homecoming dance at my high-school. For some reason she wanted to pick me up instead of vice-versa, whatever, it didn't really matter to me. She said shed pick me up at 6. By 6:30 she called saying her parents were lost (we couldn't drive yet), which is ridiculous because she lives a whole 2 miles away. Finally at 7:00 she managed to find my house, along with her mom, her dad, her grandparents, and her brother. Apparently they were all coming with us to dinner. Well, I hop in the car, and sit in the back seat next to her annoying ass brother. I look down if the cup holder and see a magazine.  No, not the magazine you read, the magazine that holds bullets. It was loaded, and real. I was scared shitless. We finally got to Friday's and after a long, awkward as hell dinner, we finally departed for the dance. This time her dad actually had the gun out momentarily before putting it in the glove box, supposedly her grandfather had been borrowing it. That whole night at the dance all I could think about was her dad murdering me. I felt her up ten times anyways.

-Kipp

I went over to my GF's house during the day last week when her parents were away at work. We were watching TV then I tried to put some moves on her and make out. She stopped me after a few seconds and said "I don't like doing stuff in front of the dog, it weirds me out…why don’t we go upstairs to my room?" When we got up to her room the dog was following but I shooed him out and tried to close the door. Then she says "no wait he wants to hang out with us don't leave him out there its mean!" Then we laid down in her bed and the dog pretty much claimed her. She goes, "he’s such a cockblock isnt he". Then she took a nap. I hate that dog.

-Andy