For years it's been on the tips of many Americans' tongues, but no one dares ask: Why isn't Will Smith our President? Some naysayers claim he's just an actor who knows nothing about politics. Here's my answer to the various criticisms asked by professional politicians:
Politician: How could an actor possibly become any kind of political leader?
The Truth: Arnold Schwarzeneggermade "Jingle All The Way". He is now the governer of California. Will Smith made "Wild Wild West." Point made.
Politician: What about his foreign policy?
The Truth: He punched an alien in the face and said "Welcome to Earf." How much more foreign can you get?
Politician: The United States isn't ready for a black president.
The Truth: David Palmer from "24". Next?
Politician: How can Americans be sure that Mr. Smtih will be able to handle national security or economic catastrophes?
The Truth: Are you kidding? He's gotten out of 145 sticky situations, and always managed to come out on top. If Will Smith can deal with Uncle Phil, he can definitly handle Osama.
Politician: He was in "I, Robot."
The Truth: Now, Will has, on several different occasions, apologized for that movie. What more do you people want? He's sorry!
Politician: How can we be sure that Will Smith is intelligent enough to hold this position?
The Truth: Not only is he intelligent, he's internationally renowned as a prophet. He was the one who articulated how girls of the world ain't nothin but trouble and how parents just don't understand. He's redefined the word millennium and made it willennium. He put Miami on the map. Not only did he pursue happyness; he achieved it. He's the reason rainbows and smiles exist. To not elect him president would be tantamount to murdering 15 kittens. Do you really want that blood on your hands? That poor kitten blood? Didn't think so.