It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Peter Sohl, Georgia Tech
My roommate has a bad habit of making racist comments about me whenever she gets drunk. So I have started a new habit of my own: soaking her socks in swamp water from my biology field work and putting them back in with her clean clothes. James S.
I'm sorry I sprayed you with that bottle of mustard. I just hate that stupid polo you always wear.
Anthony D, Western Michigan
Last semester my roommate walked in on me and my girlfriend at the time going at it. The next day he told the apartment manger that I had brought a hooker to the apartment, then me and her had to explain that she wasn’t a hooker. What an asshole.
My roommate owned his own house. I had known the guy for a few years and had no issue renting a room from him. The mortgage was not too high and since I had use of half the place, paying for half the mortgage as rent was not outrageous. Somewhere after about a month of living there, his girlfriend was there quite
often. No big deal really until I found out that she had actually moved in while I was at work during the day and had been staying there free of charge while I split everything with him 50/50. She became a nightmare over the span of two days. After finding my fish tank poisoned, my cat let outside, my laundry removed from the washer during the rinse cycle and placed on my bed in a pile, and all of my food missing from the fridge and pantry; I had enough of her. This girl was so needy, and he was hard up for any girl that payed any attention to him; so he would do anything she wanted. Every month he would buy her a dozen roses to celebrate another month of dating. As the pedals fell off the roses, she would collect them and save them for whatever reason. One particular month she received her said roses on the afternoon before I left to go out to the bars. Upon returning home rather intoxicated and stumbling through the house, I came across this nice vase full of roses. I emptied the vase of water and filled it back up with my urine and put the roses back in the vase and went to bed. Overnight those roses curled over and died. At this point, she proceeded to collect the pedals and put them in a plastic bag with the rest of ones she had saved. Within a weeks time, the bag had become overrun with mold and she had to discard all the pedals she had been saving for the past 6 months. I moved out a few days later.
I still live at home with my parents, so they count as roommates right? Anyways, my stepdad can be a bit of a douche, so I decided to play a prank on him. Both he and my mom smoke, and because they want to save money he bought a cigarette making machine. The thing is loud and annoying. One day while I was at home alone, I noticed that there were a few of the empty cigarettes on the table, maybe like 15 or so. I took each and every one of those, one at a time, and put them in my nose. My only regret is that I wasn't congested that day.
JJ Yung, WIU
The roommates above me are absolutely obnoxious. Every weekend (thurs sunday) I get woken up at least 4 times by the loud bass that is getting pumped from their speakers. I'm used to loud music but it gets a little old after asking nicely to turn the bass down when I have to be at work in 3 hours. So I chose to enact my revenge. I'm extremely tech savvy so at first I just messed with his computer. I stole his password and logged in remotely to set itunes to the lowest bass setting. When that failed I would just shut his computer down. This went on for a few weeks and didn't change anything. So while he was gone I broke into his room. Chewed through his subwoofer wire so he would think that a rat did it. He rewired his sub so that also failed. Finally I had to take it over the top. My room mate and I plus both of our girlfriends all pitched in to buy a 18 inch double ended black dildo to get him back with. One day when he passed out drunk we shoved the dildo down his throat and took pictures of him with it in his mouth. We then preceded to send the picture out to all his friends on facebook. He still to this day has no idea why his friends call him "deep throat". I no longer get mad when he wakes me up at night.
Anonymous, Georgia Tech
I understand when I forgot to press start on the washing machine I fucked up, but when you then took out my clothes, replaced them with yours, then left them sitting in the machine wet all day while you were at work it was me who added the bleach to fuck all your clothes. I hate you slut!
Rhett, Adelaide INTL
One night I was headed home from a night of bar hopping with a couple of friends and my room mate. I was tricked into being the designated driver that night while my other two friends were plastered. My room mate kept bragging about how he got out of it being his turn to be DD that night and kept gloating over the fact that I got stuck with being sober that night.Half way home I got pulled over by a state trooper for going a little over the speed limit. Before the officer got out of his car I reached over and punched my smartass room mate in the stomach. So by the time the officer got to my window he saw my roomy was doubled over in pain holding his stomach while I apologized for speeding and explained that I was trying to get my "pal" home as quick as possible because he was having bad stomach pains. Amazing enough the officer let us off with a verbal warning. So I got out of getting a ticket and avoided my insurance going up and my room mate never skipped out on his turn for being DD.
My junior roommate was such a lazy douchebag and would never clean up after himself. One night after crashing after playing too much World of Warcraft I proceeded to spike his cans of Mountain Dew with a syringe full of liquefied bathtub crank I brought back to campus and then dosed his peanut butter with crushed-up Ritalin. He got so spun, he got into a fight with campus-police and got tazed. He's now serving probation for weapons and drug charges and had to drop out. I kept his schoolbooks and deleted his WoW account.
RoboSex 2000, Whatsamatta U