During a recent seismic occurrence, two electromagnetically charged tectonic plates violently collided directly under Hollywood, California. People have been complaining, because movies that have used the same actor have inexplicably interchanged characters, causing a major movie-cinema-space-time paradox.
Movies affected by this change have been Kindergarten Cop and The Terminator, Blade and Major League, and Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey and the Matrix. Here are some clips from the affected movies
John Kimble: Sarah Conner?
Sarah Conner #1: Yes?
John Kimble: Your son, John, has been performing very poorly in my class.
Sarah Conner #1: I don't have a son?
John Kimble: Oh, I'm sorry, it seems I have the wrong Conner's residence.
Sarah Conner #1: What are you doing with a shotgun?
T-800: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
Dominic: My daddy came back in time and then died..
T-800: (Throws ferret directly at child)
Willie Mays Hayes: Willie Mays Hayes. I hit like Mays, and I run like Hayes!
Vampire: (Eats Willie Mays Hayes)
Bob Uecker: Now up to bat, Number 666, Blade.
Blade: (throws glaive, kills first, second, third basemen and pitcher, catches glaive in a sweet kneeling/bowing arm in the air position, slowly walks the bases)
Bill and Ted's Bogus Adventure:
Death: You must play me in a game of chess if you wish to return to earth.
Neo: I know kung fu.
Death: I'm death.
Neo: (punches death in the stomach, Death explodes) I've beaten death before.
Ted: (After martial arts upload) Whoa. I know kung fu.
Morpheus: Show me.
(The entire movie is exactly the same)