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Whenever my roommate snores too loud, I smack him in the face with a giant beach ball I got for free from some student organization. He's a pretty heavy sleeper, so I usually throw it pretty hard. I'm never sure if he's notice this or not.
Sam V., Boston University
I was sick of my roommate always bumming cigarettes off me. So I dumped the tobacco out of one and replaced it with the part of a miniature firecracker that goes boom, then covered it up with a little bit of the tobacco. The next time he asked, that's the one I gave him. He hasn't asked me for a cigarette since.
My not so fond of roommate and I had just gotten back from a party 3 apartments down. He had brought this very hot girl back with him and all night at the party when she would be away, he would ask me how much I
wanted to bet that he would fuck her tonight. We got back to our place and she used the bathroom. While she was in their he comes up to me and says, "Dude, I'm sorry you didn't get a girl tonight, but I will fuck her good for you." then followed by a sarcastic/cocky laugh. They went to bed and I sat up and watched T.V. in the living room. About a half an hour goes by and I hear somone coming up the steps. It's the girl. She walks into the living room and asked "Do you know that he snores?". I said "I haven't really noticed it but a lot of guys snore." She then sat down next to me and bluntly asked "Wanna take care of me?". We fucked all night. The next morning my roommate comes up to me and says "Dude, you should have seen the shit that girl could do. Last night was exactly what I needed." I didn't know what to say. Either call him out right their on the spot or just take the satisfaction of really knowing what that girl could do. I just laughed and agreed accordingly. I can't wait for the next girl he brings home.
Trevor Lawrence from Grand Valley State University
My roommate is a good guy but a terrible person to live with. He pisses me off everyday over some douche thing he does like eat all my food, use all the hot water, blast death metal music through our tissue paper thin walls while I study and smoke next to my window while I try to sleep. I hate this man as a roommate, which is why I've started putting my hydrogen peroxide (which needs neutralized over the course of 6 hours to be used without crying) contact solution into his case at night. It's weird
you piss me off and the next day your eyes get burned out of your head? Be a better roommate, dick.
Anonymous, Grove City College
A few years ago, when I had a roommate, who left his dishes all over the house and was always late on his share of the rent and bills, I decided enough was enough. He was balding early and used Rogaine. I decided to fix him one day, when he was at work. I took all the Rogaine out of the tube and refilled it with Gel Nair. Back then, it had a nice Lemon scent. Just the sound of him screaming as the tingling sensation when he remaining hair was falling out was enough to pay for the two months of rent he hadn't paid. He chased me around the building three times swearing he was going to shave my head, as bald as his was, the cue ball.
Me and my roommate used to grow plants together. I was the one that did all of the work and research to make sure they grew correctly and fully. Well after they grew and we picked them we waited a little while to do it again. He decided to do it without me on his own, so naturally when I saw that they were going good, I poisoned them with bleach. He thought he didn't give them enough water.
I lived across the hall from these two really annoying girls my freshman year. My roommate and I were fed up that we decided to do something. That year our gym was being renovated and there were construction materials all over the campus. For about a month, my roommate and I would go out in the middle of the night and each bring back a cinder block and store it in our closets, under our desks, beds, etc. After about a month we had about 50 cinder blocks carefully hidden in our room. On the last day of school before we all headed home, my roommate and I woke up at 4 in the morning and started building a wall of cinder blocks right in front of their door. Few hours later we were both on a plane back home and I never found out what happened to those girls. It was a narrow hallway and the wall had multiple layers so unless someone helps them get out from the outside, there really wasn't a way for them to make their way through the wall. I suppose they could've jumped out the window, but we lived on the 5th floor.
Anonymous, University of Rochester
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