The end of an eventful year is drawing nigh, with many highs, lows, and fond memories. It’s only at a time like this that we can truly appreciate what we’ve had, and what we’ve lost. While we have gained so much this year, there are also a great many things that have been left behind. I’m talking, of course, about unfinished beers.
There is no feeling worse than pouring half full Busch Lites into the toilet the morning after a night of revelry; no sound worse than the slow waterfall of warm brew splashing into the cold, unforgiving waters below. I know what many of you are thinking, who would do such a thing? Who would carelessly waste such a precious (and tasty) beverage? You know damned well who, it’s the same characters playing out the same old story every time. The guy who wants to say he drank more than he actually did in a feeble attempt to prove his manhood. The girl who makes herself think she drank more so she won’t feel guilty about opening her legs for some tool who listens to nickleback, or the quasi-anorexic girl who gets upset because there aren’t nutrition facts on the side of beer cans and “can’t possibly drink a whole one.” It’s because of people like this that overnight a beverage so good becomes intolerable. As American citizens (and more importantly college students) it is our duty to ensure that not a single droplet of suds go to waste, no matter its color, country of origin, or whether there’s festivus mud in it.
So when you’re out partying this weekend, as you wait in an insufferably long line for the keg, take the time out to pay your respects for our fallen comrades. They may be lost, but never forgotten. Remember America: always finish your beer.