So pretty much our hall is known for breaking stuff, making a mess, leaving trash, etc. every week. So our RA has been charging us every week this semester for the extra clean ups. Also he came up with an idea to make a hallway pennie that quotes on the back "We Break stuff". Anyways while sending a email to see who would want one, one of my hallmates replied with this. (I've changed the names for everyone)

 

NAH QUEERS!

If Ben gets to votes than I felt so should me.

Also, QUEER THIS. I think we have wasted about enuf money on that cleaning lady as it is giving her like 10 dollars every time she picks up a faggin pizza box to waste our money on lax pinnies. That’s really faggy mcfag fags guys.

Also queers, I am really disappointed in all of yall queers attidudes the last couple weeks and I will say why. I will say why now.

1. WHAT THE FAG WAS GAY DAY ALL ABOUT! First of all, I am not gay. FUCK GAY PEOPLE! Exepth don’t. Huh huh. I don’t want to fuck, hug, talk to, allow to vote anybody that is gay and I most certainly will not want to go to a gay day. QUEER THAT!

2. Trash. I woke up this morning, blasted the same song by Nickelback on repeat real queerin loud, punched a whole in my ceiling, and then stepped stomped down the hallway into our shitting cave. Honestly queers, I  couldn’t help but laugh.

After all of RA’s emails about not throwing trash into the shitting cave’s trash box, you queers STILL do it. Why don’t you get taught and follow my example?

For the THIRD time this week I did all you queers a favor and dumped all the trash into the hallway. Now I know some of you queers have nothing to do with causing the trash problem but even though it is not your fault it is still your problem. I’m serious. It doesn’t take much effort to pick up the trash box and just dump it into out hallway so we don’t get charged for exgtra queers. Huh huh. That should also be a charge. IF THERE ARE ANY QUEERS ON THIS HALL YOU OWE ME 10 DOLLARS.

But why don’t yuopu make it even faggin easier? Why not just not put the trash in the trash box in the first place? Once again just do what I do ya queers. If you order pizza, just throw the box either out into the hall, hide it in the ceiling, or throw it out your window. If you still have a screen keeping you from throwing it out your window, just punch it out. SIMPLE MATH YA ASSHOLES.

5. Queit Hours. You queers need to do a better job at getting the word out that it is queit hours. Some of you have done a great job of helping out hall by yelling it out for all the other fags on the hall at 2 am in the morning and that was definitey  a good start. But I think we could do better. We should def start walking into peoples rooms and yelling in their ear holes to let them know juyst what time it is. I mean, how else are they going to know, you know? We sat down and made an agree mint with RA that we would uphold certain rules and I think us queers need to respect that.

#. DIP. SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST FAGGOTS! I just want to say that I don’t think Im alone in believing that there ain’t nothing like the smell of dip spit in the morning. Through mine and other queers efforts we have come very close to making our hall have an everlasting dip spit smell by working tirelessy to crete as much dip spit as possible and then leave them in open bottles for smell purposes. Some of you like myself have even take the extra effort of pouring this dip spit on to the floor or even leaving a precious dip spit bottle in the room of some one who is 2 unfortunate to not be able to dip spit themselves. Queers, I’m going to get reall serious with yall. Our efforts are simply not enough.

That cleaing lady who get like 20 buckaroos whenever she picks up a peice of trash keeps cleaining up our efforts. So I am taking a stand and making a promise. Every day for the next 30 hours I will do nothing but sit in my room and eat chew and spit dip and collect dip and pass around my wondrous gift to the whole hall. YOU ARE WELCOME.

Now you may be asking don’t you already do that already? To that I answer yes, but you queers don’t know everyting.  Like I play a lot of xbox and once a week I go to one of my classes. But if I cut those out of my schedule then I will have enuf time to succeed in what I an trying to succeed at.

 

So yeah. Just wanted to get that off my tits. Also remember my view is NAH to those faggot pinnies. Maybe if they were hockey jerseys for a team called the Queer Bashers than I would be in. But not some gay ass non sport like lax.

I’m out queers.

-FJ