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Back in December, I was hooking up with this cute music major at my school. We were having a really good time, but we were leaving for break and I was going to be in Europe until March. I got back two weeks ago, and text him. He didn't respond, so at a party last week I hooked up with a new guy, who happens to be in the same major as him, and I saw him again last night. This morning, I was walking on campus with a friend and we saw the new guy, so we went to go over and talk to him, and as we got closer, I realized he was standing with the guy I hadn't seen since December. If that wasn't awkward enough, I said "Hey, long time, no see!" and the new guy said 'Oh yeah, it's been a real long time since I saw you!" All I could do was run away
My girlfriend has been filling out her bracket for America's Hottest College Girl and asks for my help. Normally, this would be awesome, get to check out some hot girls with my girlfriend. However, every time I give my opinion or say something about a girl, I get yelled at, and she gets angry
I took this girl out from one of my lower level classes. I took her across the street from the campus to the bar, we both get by because the bartender knows me we get talking, everything is going well. Same majors, interests all that. She's quite intelligent and well i like it because it's a switch up from the few girls I have taken out. Then she asks me how old I am. I tell her 19 turning 20 in a couple months. She then is very quiet about her age. We finish our drinks and we start walking back to the dorms, she lets slip that she had 2 skip grades and that she is 16. I look at her, like really good and I'm like wondering if she is like just being funny. She shows me her ID, she was really 16.
Never having gone to any of my high school (all male catholic school) dances, I decided to ask a girl I had been friends with (and unsuccessfully trying to date) for about a year to go to senior prom with me. She accepted and I asked if she had any friends who would be willing to go with my friend so I could have some type of wingman. She asked one of her friends and based on myspace pics each party accepted. The stage was set: I was going with a girl I'd been trying to win over for a year and my friend was going with someone he'd only seen on myspace. I didn't have high hopes as I was a fat class clown with next to no dating experience, but I had no idea how bad it would be: my car broke down halfway to prom, with my mom coming to give us her car, and getting a ride with my date's mom (the two would later go out to dinner to talk about their kids' future). Both dates were bored as hell the whole prom, afterwards we went to Denny's where my friend's date (whom he had known for all of 5 hours) started rubbing his dick under the table, while my date (whom I had known for a year) would not even look at me. After Denny's, my friend took his date to the beach to bang, my date told me to drop her at a gas station so another dude could pick her up and didn't even say "good night". On top of all that the gas station attendant wouldn't even sell me cigarettes until 12:00am, it was 11:50pm. My senior prom and my 18th b-day all rolled into one glorious memory.
For the past two years my mom has had a problem with my girlfriend. When she's over, my mom always brings up how she loved my one ex. I asked my dad what her problem was. It's all because one time after my girlfriend and I were done having sex, I tied the condom off and put it in the bottom of my trash bin. Well when I went back to school my dog apparently went into the trash, came out with the condom, and preceded to play with it until it exploded all over him
My mom had to clean my jizz off the dog. I guess that explains the bitterness.
This week’s, “That’s why you don’t show girls card tricks,” award goes to:
So my friend introduces me to this really cute, shy, smart girl and we immediately hit it off. We go to the same parties and talk between classes for the most part. After six weeks we've shared some great times, making inside jokes and laughing about things no one else gets. One day, as I'm showing her a card trick, this guy sits down and plays a game of euchre with us. Within two days, they've started dating and she's completely forgotten about me.