In this world there are two people who smoke pot. Those who smoke pot…and stoners. In my many years observing the habits of these strange people I have come up some questions you can ask yourself to find if you smoke pot or are a stoner. 

-Do you smoke pot to begin with? 

-Do people comment on the peculiar smell of you and/or your possessions? 

-Do you have friends who you hang out with for the sole purpose of smoking pot? 

-Does one or more of you friends have dreadlocks? 

-Did at one point in time YOU wanted dreadlocks? 

-Do you currently have dreadlocks? 

-Can you name more than four ways to smoke pot? 

-Can you name different types of bongs? 

-Have you ever named your bong? 

-Can someone literally say a nonsense word to you, and you know he's talking about weed? 

-Have you ever watched a washing machine? 

-In the process of watching the washing machine, did you stand up and say"I totally get it!"? 

-Do you find the texture of denim "exhilarating"? 

-Do you have a hard time resisting the urge to take off your pants? 

-Have you ever described a person as "crunchy", "cheesy", or anything else you would usually     attribute to a Dorito? 

-Have you ever made friends with an inanimate object? 

-Have you ever made out with an inanimate object? 

-Have you ever made love to and inanimate object? 

-Is the aforementioned inanimate object still in your house? 

-If so, do you still find it sexually attractive? 


If you answered yes to a shockingly large amount of the questions above, you just may be a stoner.