Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions here.


My company is doing a software upgrade that is long overdue, so I asked for training so that the employees would know how to use it, the response I got, we don't provide training because then employees go looking for a better job. Now we are doing an upgrade and no one knows how to use the new software, go figure.
-C. L.

I work at a catering/reception area in my hometown, which is usually pretty fun depending on the people in the wedding/event. One day I arrived to work to see my name on the planner with a big NO written in front of it, underlined several times. One of the biggest things requested by the marrying couple was that I not be in the building for their party.
-Zombie G.

I worked at a religious bookstore that had a cafe built in. One of our regulars was a crazy pastor woman who would nitpick and haggle prices, spend hours playing dress-up in the bathroom with our sample clerical robes, and try to analyze how the employees were feeling because "I have a degree in psychology and I can tell when you're mad." One day, she signed up to sing karaoke in the cafe. She showed up three hours early, rearranged all the fake plants, prayed over every single window, then sang off-key until past the time we were closed.
-C. E.

My boss keeps calling me Mario and making the jumping sound every time he sees me because I'm half Italian.
-Anthony G.

I worked at a distinguished sandwich chain before starting university, and through that time period, one thing stands out in my memories of that place more than others; every Friday night, the same morbidly-obese guy coming in and getting the foot long meatball sub with double bacon, a half dozen cookies and a bottle of pop. He would sit there alone, eat it and cry. Every. Single. Friday.
-A. U.

I work at the roadside assistance division for a major insurance company. After informing a customer that his coverage for towing services had expired, I asked if he would be able to pay for the service over the phone by credit card. He told me he didn't have a credit card available. I went to the next option for him, which was getting a tow truck out there and paying the driver directly in cash. He asked me if I could hold on a minute so he could get the money, so I did, assuming he just needed to check to see if he had enough money or go to a nearby ATM to check his balance. What followed was one of the greatest calls I have ever had in my history of employment at this company: with his phone at his side, his voice still fully audible, the man proceeded to accost random people passing by asking if they would like to buy drugs from him. After a few failed attempts, he managed to sell some cocaine to one individual. He promptly came back on the phone after the transaction and proudly reported: "Okay I have the money now, you can send the tow truck!"
-Rob F.

I work as a delivery driver for a restaurant, and oftentimes have to deliver to the slums. One time I was walking into an apartment complex with a bag of food and a man, who I can best describe as a very haggard and cracked-out version of Geddy Lee, grabbed me by the arms and said either 'McDonald's or the FBI' or 'McDonald's is the FBI.' Then he laughed and walked away.
-Bobby W.

I am a 20-year-old black male who works at a local department store. One day as I am stocking shelves, a mother and her white 4-year-old son walk past me. As they passed me the son started screaming "Mom, look it's Bill Cosby!" over and over again. I had to quit a few weeks later because I couldn't get my coworkers to stop calling me Bill.
-Random College Kid



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