Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
5 Types Of Parties
June 7, 2010
This party has more sausage than the Denny's Meat Lover Meal. These are always unfortunate because
to throw a sausage fest. Initially, girls are expected to show up and when they flake, the end result is a couch full of dudes watching Fight Club and/or playing
: Modern Warfare.
Sausage Fest's are inevitable, so run from grenades and stay inside on Air-Strikes when playing that Call Of Duty
Better known as a high school party. If the backyard brings back memories of grade school recess, then the lady folk in attendance is probably too young. I know "they" say if there’s grass on the field play ball but "they" are R. Kelly & Lawrence Taylor.
A good way to test the age of the party is to ask “Who wants to go to Baskin Robbins?" If 20% or more of the people scream for ice cream, leave immediately.
Awkward is a very fluid concept. Here are a few situations that make for an awkward party.
1.) One of the party guests is the girl who you wrote on Facebook and got no response from and you just made eye contact. Both of you recognize each other and now must work hard to pretend not to see the other.
2.) You don't know any of the people in attendance.
3.) You know all of the people in attendance too well.
Stand around scrolling through old text messages or playing block breaker, it’ll make you look busy while you think of an escape plan.
The girls at costume/theme parties dress slutty. 'Nuff said.
The universe hates you, so if you wear a costume,
else will. If you don't, they'll be enforcing a strict dress code policy which requires a costume for entrance.
100 Dudes. 1 Girl. Unless you are able (and willing) to perform a record breaking massive train, then it becomes a massive cock-block battle where everyone does their damndest to get the attention of the girl. It is rare that anyone will prevail but the crown usually goes to the most persistent fella… or the guy with the best chloroform.
: Isolate the girl and use the classic, “Do these taste like roofies?” line.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.