It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Ciaran O'Connor from NUIG Ireland
Has anyone submitted a roommate confession while taking a dump in their roommate's baseball cleats cause he left them on the kitchen table after a rainout? FIRST!
PJ T from Northwestern University
These d-bags next door would play their bong drums late into the night when we lived in the dorms. One night I got fed up and beat on the wall with my fist. The drummer's roommate was a geology major and tapped back at me with a rock hammer. My roommate then took a 4×4 post (loft leg) and tried to bang on the wall battering-ram style, and accidentally rammed it through the cinder block wall. Oops.
My roommate left about 2 days ago. I turned our bunk beds into one big bed (named it ultra bed). He's coming back Tuesday for his last final. I really hope he doesn't plan on staying over. I've gotten used to ultra bed.
TY from University of New Haven
I have two roommates. They are both great and are probably some of my best friends at school. The only problem is that one of my roommates has a girlfriend, and although sometimes nice, is usually kind of immature and bitchy. That wouldn't bother me too much is she wasn't in the room day and night and
constantly having sex with my roommate. While I'm in the bed below him, I might add. One day I couldn't stand it anymore and as they were climbing into his bed to "cuddle" I took my laptop into my bed, making it look like I was going to write a paper. I then proceeded to open my music library and turn up the volume on the computer to max (which is very loud very loud). As soon as I felt the bed shake and sheets ruffle I blasted the Imperial March from Star Wars. He stopped. His girlfriend left 3 minutes later. It was kinda epic.
Jack B. from Savannah College of Art and Design
The day I was moving out away from my slob of a roommate who was so messy you'd think she was a guy, I found a used condom and wrapper behind my couch. My sister was fed up with all the horror stories of living with this girl for a semester like how she would never clean, she would wear my clothes and not wash them, she would spill bong water and not clean it up, and if it weren't for me paying attention to the dates the bills would never have been paid on time. My sister and I did a few small things first; we took the Harry Potter book she left in the bathroom and unfolded her bookmark and folded another, we put a little soap on her toothbrush, added soap to her lysol wipes so they would film, we added proactive to her hair shampoo cause it has bleach properties, and for the final act I added rubbing alcohol to her favorite candle let it soak and then poured out the excess. Few days later she posted that her candle lit her hair on fire. I couldn't help but smile. :)
Kelsey A from Texas Lutheran University
Honestly, there's no way to give a clear picture of my roommate. De-evolution is it. She is a caveman (sitting in a bathtub of dirt that lives a ring since she doesn't shower), eating moldy food, and she's a hoarder with no sense of personal space. And I clean it all. Besides dropping roaches on my couch, eating my food, losing my dishes in her room (or Narnia), she's impossible to get back at. I put mold in the bathtub and let it grow when I went to my parents, I return to see a new tub ring and a larger BLACK mold spot. I've put lemon juice in her milk and she still drank it, used her tooth brush on the tub stains and I've still never seen her sick in two years. I also was nice enough to grab some salmonella from the Bio lab I was in. I put that in your organic fruit (Hey, salmonella is natural!). My last result is using the stuff your cat leaves in the litter box that you only clean once a month. Say hello to cat-soiled wood shavings in your weed bag, clothing drawers and bedding.
Jen G from University of Louisville
I got a new roommate this semester who was incredibly obnoxious. She would invite people to our room and then leave them there, drunk and passed out, while she went to work or wherever. My personal favorite was when she'd leave someone on MY bed and they'd piss or puke on themselves. When I confronted her about it, she burst into tears and said I was "aggravating her anxiety." So I went home the weekend before moving out and picked up a plastic bag of my dog's turds and brought them back to campus. Right before leaving the dorm for the summer, I unscrewed the metal grate for the vent and deposited the turds right in front of the vent, screwed the grate back on and cranked up the heat. I'm especially enjoying her angry Facebook status updates: "Can't figure out where this SHIT smell is coming from!" "God it smells nasty in here WTF!" Did I mention she's living there for the next three months while she's taking summer classes? Enjoy the stink, bitch.
I commuted my second semester cause I couldn't control myself. I did some pretty horrible things to my roommate first semester. I know he won't do anything though cause he walked in on me busting in his Physics book and never said a word about it. Well one night he was up videochatting with the girl in his dreams. He heated up his nachos real quick beforehand though and turn ate two ground up Viagras and 40 milligrams of my mom's old antidepressants. I've never heard a more seductive cry for just one chance in my entire life. I don't know if he was that oblivious or if he just couldn't get the balls to confront me about it. I peed in his dresser one night.
Ken C. from RU
This isn't as much a roommate confession as it is a girlfriend's roommate confession. My girlfriend this past year was a freak to put it simply. She's a redhead who once made me bust on her roommate's tooth brush just cause she had eaten the last of my girlfriend's string cheese. The worst though was when we ordered Chinese one night when I just wanted to relax and watch a movie. Well she decided to open the door with a string, while mooning the delivery man. I don't know why, she is kind of psychotic. It was her roommate's family though. Her mom, dad and nine-year old brother were in town for dinner.
Alex N from BU
Submit yours here!