Every once in a while, the Gods above part the clouds, take a good look at you, and decide that your life is going just a little too well.  The end result for you care-free lifestyle and reckless behavior.  Today:  Bronchitis!

What it means:  You know that kid who wakes everyone up in the morning?  The chronic smoker who rolls out of bed each morning and hacks his/her guts out their mouth for the entire floor to hear every morning, leaving mucus gifts in the sink?    You ARE this person.

Why you got it:  Because watching Phish DVDs and listening to some Marley wouldn't be complete without you tool kit: lighter, fan blowing out the window, spoof (water bottle stuffed with dryer sheets… names may vary), device/papers, and your danky-dank and/or a pack of cigerettes, which your cheap-ass friends will undoubtedly 'bum' from you. 

How you got it:  Sharing these items not only gets you ripped, but from time to time hungry… for some f'in antibiotics.  Plus, gravity bongs and devastators (who purpose is it literally inject smoke into your lungs) are probably scorching your tender pink tissue, not to mention all the crap that tree-bark you call 'bud' is rolled in.

What you've learned:  If your trying to impress some friends on how much you can smoke; don't.  Taking the biggest hit you can, then coughing until you puke on the floor won't get you marks.  It makes you asshole; and just wasting it for everyone else.

Your Prize:  Health Center meds, and a cough that will just annoy everyone in your dorm AND you class. 

Congrats Champ!