I am writing to you in the hopes that you will able to put a stop to our biggest global threat. Zombie robots, made by monkeys.

Everyday we live in fear of being incinerated by the zombie robots' flamethrowers. Survivors are left badly burned and scarred. Some might even say that the situation "got a little heated".

Our homes and all of the others buildings are covered in vines and ivy for some reason and the zombie robots call those places home ever since they went uninhabited.

Ever since the rule of zombie robots began, they have made it so that humans are subservient to them and that we must obey their every whim. Those who won't comply will have a zombie robot wag their finger at them and be issued a stern warning. Any further violations will have the offender subjected to immediate incineration.

They have also made it so that airplane food consists entirely of a single peanut which all of the passengers must share between themselves.

We have made countless efforts to fight against the zombie robots but our results were utterly fruitless. We even went as far as to going back to see how and why the zombie robots happened! It turns out that a Japanese man had been hiding a million monkeys in his basement and when he was caught, he claimed that he gave a typewriter to each monkey in the hopes that eventually one of them will write a masterpiece so powerful that it surpasses any of Shakespeare's works. Instead, they made a zombie robot.

So now I am on all fours, begging for your hand of justice and to rid the world of the zombie robots and cease their tyranny! That or at least take away their flamethrowers "because those things really hurt".

Yours Faithfully,
A man being incinerated