Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions here.

I work at a hardware store in the seasonal section, which includes patio stones. A customer came up to me and asked where the 2×2 foot patio stones are. I told him that we keep the larger stones in the lumber yard at the complete other end of the store, which made the customer very angry because he said that lumber sent him over here. Confused, I called the guy in lumber and asked why he told a customer that we didn't have them. He replied "Nope, we only have 24×24 inch stones down here".
-Chris N.

I work at a sporting goods store and this lady comes in and asks, "This is my daughter’s first year playing softball, does she need a cup?"…We sold her one.
-Jenny B.

I work at a gas station and have to deal with some of the dumbest and laziest customers out there. The other day a lady stomped into work and yelled at me that her pump "stole money from her." I asked what she meant and she replied, "It says I pumped 2 cents but nothing went into my car! I heard that ya’ll were stealing money from people!" After five more minutes of conspiracy theories about gas stations and theft, I told her she could have 2 cents from my register and she took it and walked back out to her car. And what was she driving? Just a brand new E-Class Benz. No big deal.
-J. L.

I work as a police dispatcher. One time, I took a call from a man who wanted to inform us that he had been brainwashed by former Miami Dolphins head coach Don Shula. I don't know how or why, but he felt it was his duty to warn his fellow citizens.
-Justin

All of my Facebook friend suggestions are my students… I teach middle school.
-Will S.

When I used to work at a movie theater by my house, one of the Indian employees (who was also my friend) had to go to the bathroom so I decided to mess with him, and went back in the stock room to fill up a bucket full of ice, and headed for the bathroom. I checked under the stalls until I spotted his black work shoes and shouted, "Suck my dick, Camel Jockey!" as I dumped the ice on him and ran out of the bathroom laughing hysterically. I was hit with a wave of terror when I saw my coworker walk out of the only other bathroom from across the hall. I quickly explained to him what happened and hid in the stock room. Apparently the guy came out very quickly, pissed as all hell, pulling up his pants on the way to the concession stand. He ended up talking to one of my managers and luckily left without knowing who did it. All would of been well hadn't my friend told the whole staff what I did, and if my Indian manager didn’t hear the details of my battle cry. I got two write-ups at once for that. That’s never happened before at that job.
-Brett P.

There is nothing that can wash away those horrid memories of that summer giving sponge baths to the elderly at the local old folks home… nothing.
-Wayne M.

I work at a local gym. Now, you may think I'm going to complain about the roid-heads that are incredibly disrespectful to all people and things within their gravity. Or maybe I'm going to complain about all of the overweight people who come in drinking a soda and leave going to get fast food then complain about not losing weight. Perhaps even it will be about getting caught staring at a MILF works out her inner thighs. No… We have the radio on and Nickelback plays once every half hour.
-Ryan D.



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