I'm a high school geography teacher. I gave my final (identify every country in the world) today and 6% of my students missed the United States. 100% got Liechtenstein correct. What the Fuck?
I work as a police dispatcher. One time, I took a call from a man who wanted to inform us that he had been brainwashed by former Miami Dolphins head coach Don Shula. I don't know how or why, but he felt it was his duty to warn his fellow citizens.
I work at a gas station and have to deal with some of the dumbest and laziest customers out there. The other day a lady stomped into work and yelled at me that her pump "stole money from her." I asked what she meant and she replied "It says I pumped 2 cents but nothing went into my car! I heard that yall were stealing money from people!" After 5 more minutes of conspiracy theories about gas stations and theft, I told her she could have 2 cents from my register and she took it and walked back out to her car. And what was she driving? Just a brand new E-Class Benz. No big deal.
At work one day a work friend came up and told me a customer had left some teeth whitening strips behind, so we decided to use them.After putting them on, we both talked about how sticky they felt, but decided they must have to be to stay on.After about 10 minutes, we decided to take them off. When we did, we found it almost impossible to get them completely off. That's when we found out they were actually strips to keep dentures stuck down.
I work in a science museum. One day, a woman had a two-year old baby girl with her and she was making a lot of noise because she enjoyed the echo. Another woman came to me and told me I must ask the mother to quiet down her baby. I answered quite unpolitely that I'd do no such thing. Then she presented herself as the director of the museum =S I don't know how I wasn't fired, but I sure am not getting promoted