Thimble: HEY! YOU! The guy who just stopped on the sidewalk!

Wheelbarrow: Yes?

Thimble: YOU'RE STAYING AT MY HOTEL TONIGHT, BUDDY. $4!

Wheelbarrow: Hotel? This is a completely empty lot. I definitely don't want to sleep here.

Thimble:
$4. That patch of dirt over there is yours.

Wheelbarrow: Can I get a pillow at least?

Thimble: NO PILLOWS AT THE BALTIC AVENUE INN!

_______________

Dog: $15 poor tax. Pay up.

Wheelbarrow: Didn't know it was tax season. Here you go.

Dog: Thank you, sir. I'm gonna go dump it in that parking lot over there.

Wheelbarrow: Looks like there's a pretty huge pile of cash there. Is any of that going to the poor?

Dog: Maybe. If they park there.

_______________

Police Officer:
Hey you! What are you doin' on this corner?

Wheelbarrow: Just walking around the block, thought I'd stop for a second.

Police Officer: Yeah? Tell it to the judge!

(one day later)

Wheelbarrow:
Can I leave now?

Police Officer:
For $50, we'll pretend this never happened.

Wheelbarrow: Nothing happened. Can't I just walk out?

Police Officer:
Depends. How many lots are you planning to walk down?

Wheelbarrow:
Uh…4?

Police Officer: 2 and then 2 more, or 3 and then 1?

Wheelbarrow: 3 and 1?

Police Officer: Wrong answer, tough guy! You'll sit in that cell 'til you rot…in three days. Or until you plan to walk down the same number of lots twice.

________________

Banker: Hello, sir, here's $200!
 
Wheelbarrow: For what?
 
Banker: Why, for walking around this corner, of course.
 
Wheelbarrow: Are you, like, an opposite-bum or something? You just stand here and pass out hundreds of dollars?
 
Banker: Yes! Precisely!
 
Wheelbarrow: Good thing I don't keep my money in your bank.
 
Banker: Agreed.
 
Wheelbarrow: Hey, ever notice that the absolute poorest, ghetto part of town and the fanciest, richest part share the same corner?
 
Banker: I dunno. They both look like empty lots to me.

_______________
 
Wheelbarrow:
Oh god! How could you afford to buy up almost every property?
 
Thimble: Business acumen. And parking lots. And beauty contests.

Wheelbarrow: Well, I'll just be on my way…
 
Thimble: NOT SO FAST. You're staying here tonight. $1400.
 
Wheelbarrow: But…but…I own the hotel that's right next door. Why would I stay here?
 
Thimble: LUXURY!
 
Wheelbarrow: Well, I'm going to have to sell the hotel that I own just to stay one night in your hotel.

Thimble: AND THEN I WILL OWN EVERY HOTEL IN THE HOTEL DISTRICT!
 
Police Officer: WHOOOOA THERE! This wheelbarrow ain't staying anywhere. He's under arrest for triple-double-moving!
 
Thimble: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 
Wheelbarrow: Thank god. Hey officer, I think I'll be going down 2 lots and then another 2 lots.
 
Police Officer: Are you kidding me? What you did was practically treason. You'd be lucky to get out in less than twenty years.
 
Wheelbarrow: What if I told you I had a "Get Out of Jail Free" card?


Police Officer:
In a few days, you'll wish you had a "Please Don't Gang Rape Me In the Shower" card.