It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
This last year, I had a roommate who feared work. During the school year he would cover his mess with a few of my things, thus it became "my mess". So I would have to clean it, all of it. Also, he works in "nonstandard" hours he turns on the lights at 4 in the morning to start his work. After 6 months of this I had enough. The first thing I did was replace his lamp bulb with one that would explode (lower wattage than the lamp) then I sprayed his mattress with a peppermint smelling skin irritant. Long story short I woke up to my room mate being itchy and breaking out with glass cuts on his hands. A bit extreme, yes, however he never made it "my mess" again.
Dimitri B. from Hope
It's my freshman year and its my first time living in a dorm, after making friends with the guys living above me I introduced one of them to a female friend of my own. Well sure enough the two hit it off and made it no secret about their relationship. Every time 2 am rolled around I had the pleasure of listening to their headboard hitting the damn wall and the country accented moans of this girl through the echoing vents between our floors. After about three weeks I was fed up with it and seized the opportunity when I found out they were staying over spring brake along with sum 200 other students. So being a geek I took it upon myself to get some revenge. I set of a microphone in my dorm's vent (which lead to each floor in the 8 story building) along with the loudest speaker I could find. When 2 am came around, the passionate screams of her lovers name were heard through the entire building, this continued for the entire break until a recording of the broadcast was taped to her door. XP
Gary L. from WWU
Dearest roommate, you know how last week how I came out to you after two months of living with you, and the next day, I came back to our room after class to find the words "lesbo bitch" written in Sharpie all over my bed, sheets, laptop, textbooks, and clothes? Well, you know how you were panicking when you came back from a weekend with your bf to find that all of your stuff had vanished? Well, while you were getting screwed,
my girlfriend and I did it on your bed a few times, submitted all your nude pics to porn websites, and burnt all your possessions. Oh, and I spent the five-hundred dollars you swore no one should have been able to find with your sex toys on a new computer. Hope your having fun at McDonalds, bitch!
Last year our RA in the residence was a complete twat. He dished out disciplinary hearings for the most minor of offenses. After the third half hour hearing for smoking cigarettes in my room, noise, etc., I decided to get even by disposing my smelly bong water on the carpet in front of his door late at night. After a few days the place stank so much he personally had to scrub those carpets.
Dylan from VW
I got along with 6 of my 7 roommates in our dorm but the last guy was a complete douche. He was a redneck military brat who looked liked he jerked off to John Deer catalogues. Anyway we were all pretty much alcoholics but one night while one of my other roommates distracted the douche, I poured out his can of beer and refilled it with that lemony laxative stuff. After that "beer" he kept complaining that he stomach was hurting and that the beer must have gone bad. That night he ended up passing out right outside my room door. The next morning there was a large smelly brown crap stain in the carpet. Till this day he denies that it was him but since then he switched to beer in clear bottles.
Ryan M. from University of South Florida
So yeah, you remember that one time you took a crap in the bathroom and didn't light a match? No problem. Or when you threw up on the couch and I got my friends to help clean it up. Forget about it. But because you used my razor "accidentally" to shave your jewels, and didn't bother to go buy me a new pair out of decency? Well, that was about the time that I put alcohol into your pickles via syringes and watch you get piss drunk much to everyone's amusement. P.S. The milk might taste funny pretty soon too if you don't watch your shit.
As with most roommate pairs, I had no problems with my roommate at the beginning of the year. But over time I realized that she was just a fat, bitchy, lazy, pathetic black girl, and nothing more. Well, when Twilight came out she would watch it 7 times a day. It wouldn't have bothered me, but she was constantly talking while she watched, just narrating every damn scene. Every time Becca would cry or bitch, she'd say something about it. She had the sense of humor of a middle-schooler, so her remarks, comebacks and general conversations were just terrible to listen to. And, of course, she would watch that movie at night. So to get her back, I took her Twilight movie and took a dump on it and placed it back into the dvd cover. Then, just to be safe, I took out the dvd and put it in her dvd player. I forgot to take her movie out, but that didn't really matter since the thing wouldn't even turn on anymore. Her movie was toast. She literally cried when she found the poo smeared dvd.
Henry L from SDSU
My racist Albertan hick douche bag room mate, would always leave a mess, never clean up, eat my food, make racist comments about my Indian heritage, not pay his share of the rent for months on and to add to that I'd walk in on him whacking off into his socks (he never could get a girl anyway). Well, I felt I had enough and since he was kind enough to show me where he lived with his mom and dad back home in Alberta on Google maps, I decided to go on his laptop, go to the history, look for the page, write down the PO Box nice and clear and then gather all his cum soaked socks in a nice little box with a message inside saying "Dear Mom, To let you know I still think about you on lonely nights, Love ___" and mailed it on its merry way. She'll know because they are mostly black socks with gag reflex inducing white stains. It was ALL worth it. Have fun explaining that Douche Bag!
Dhaf M. from University of Western Ontario
Submit yours here!