Obama: You all know why I called you here; TJ12ACB commented on a Youtube video and exposed all our conspiracies.
Illuminati: Uh-oh. How bad is it?
Obama: He posted it in all caps.
Justin Bieber: Dear God…
Time Traveler: What are we going to do?
Obama: I don't know yet. It's lucky I found it so soon. He must have deciphered all those strange and evil clues we put out.
Robot: Maybe we should stop leaving those clues around.
Obama: Maybe you should shut up.
Illuminati: Well, thank goodness you read every single comment people make on the internet. But now what?
Reptillians: We could fake something.
Obama: Great. I love faking things! This is going even better than the time we faked the moon landing and Utah.
Obama: Come on; did you really think there was a Utah? Wake up sheeple.
Aliens: Sorry we're late, guys. We were busy just totally existing this whole time with no one noticing.
Obama: Hey guys; It's a good thing America has hid your existence for all time.
Illuminati: And that no aliens have ever been to other countries, for some reason.
Obama: Which reminds me; thanks for running everything with the Jews, Illuminati. I owe you a sandwich sometime.
Illuminati: You guys run everything too?
Jews: Of course! That's why nothing bad has ever happened to Jews throughout history.
Bigfoot: I thought you guys were getting it pretty easy…
Justin Bieber: Maybe we should rig it so TJ12ACB looks crazy, even though he clearly isn't crazy, because how could a crazy person know that I, Justin Bieber, am a Korean spy?
Robots: Exactly, agent Wu-Jung. He's clearly a genius; but we need to rig it so he looks crazy even though he totally isn't.
NBA Referees: Like how whenever anyone's favorite team loses it's because we rigged everything.
Obama: Exactly. But we have to focus; TJ12ACB is literally the most important man in the world, no matter what backhand comments that guy at Subway makes about his weight.
Reptillians: Right. He is a super genius; and to think his parents wanted him to get a job or something.
Aliens: Should we kill him like we killed JFK?
Mafia: I thought that was us.
Aliens: (shrugs) who knows these days?
Obama: We need to think of something; the last thing we need is for someone to reveal how I am literally Hitler; Secret Muslim Kenyan Hitler.
Robots: That wouldn't bode well for the re-election, especially during the 2012 apocalypse.
Bigfoot: So we're agreed; let's get him!
Obama: But we have no way to find out who TJ12ACB is! We simply don't have the technology.
Reptillians: He has defeated us! Arrrrrgh!
Obama: Yes he has. Despite the fact that we rigged everything in the entire world, for some reason we cannot trace a Youtube poster.
Justin Bieber: Curses! Hissssss! (Turns into his snake form)
Obama: But he truly is a hero, willing to fight us even if it means he can never even kiss a girl, because his duty is so great to the world, not because he's scared to do it or anything.
Illuminati: Yes; TJ12ACB Youtube is a genius and a lone hero. Secretly, we respect him.
Obama: Now, let's get back to work here; we have an alleged “Oil- “Spill- to “Clean- “Up- in the “Ocean- if you know what I mean…
Robot: Nuking Atlantis! Of course
Obama: We can only hope TJ12ACB doesn't tell everyone on Warcraft.