Ever wonder what happened to your favorite breakfast cereal mascots?  Well, not all of their lives have been so sweet since their spokesmanship days.

Count Chocula:
Count Chocula was hit hard by the recession and by 2008 lost the fortune he had built from years of causing childhood obesity.  Former cereal monster mascots and “partners” Boo and Franken Berry took him into their shared apartment to help him get back on his feet.  Luckily, Count Chocula was able to capitalize on the recent vampire craze and has since become quite wealthy (not to mention a hit with teen girls).  The fame has reportedly gone to the Count’s head, who has since moved out and is no longer speaking to either Boo or Franken.  But who needs friends when you’re paid in chocolate, right?

 

Sugar Bear:
Underneath his cool exterior, Sugar Bear was unable to endure a serious sugar addiction following his years as mascot for Golden Crisp.  Towards the end of his career, Sugar Bear was reportedly snorting up to 12 Pixie Stix a day before a night of Fun-Dip-induced debauchery.  Worried friends, led by Dig ’Em the Sugar Smacks Frog, held an intervention for Sugar, but have to this day remained unsuccessful in their efforts to keep him on the sugar wagon.  After several relapses, Sugar is currently on his third stint in rehab.

           

Sonny the Cuckoo Bird:
It was apparent from the beginning of his career with Cocoa Puffs that something about Sonny was off.  Some called him “cuckoo,” others “certifiably insane,” but regardless, Sonny had problems much deeper than a simple love of chocolate.  It wasn’t until last year, when Sonny was found ransacking a stranger’s home in search of Cocoa Puffs, that he was accurately diagnosed with schizophrenia.  Sonny is currently being held in solitary confinement in a state mental hospital, the only way to prevent him from going “cuckoo.”

 

Chip the Cookie Hound:
Upon retirement from his career as mascot for Cookie Crisp, Chip was adopted by a family and lived a quiet, peaceful life as a house pet on a farm in rural Vermont until 2009.  Chip’s life was tragically cut short when, in an ironic twist of fate, he was hit by a Chips Ahoy! truck.  If any silver lining to this tragedy can be found, it is that former Cookie Crisp mascots the Cookie Cop and the Cookie Crook were finally able to put aside their differences to attend.

Quaker Oatmeal Quaker Man:
Still creepy as shit.