Jessica: Dad, Facebook is all about social networking. I know this doesn’t make sense to you since you have like zero friends!
Dad: Your mother and I had the Busch’s over for dinner last night…
Jessica: Just come here and take a look. See, last week I added Jared Starnes-
Dad: That kid from your old grade school?
Jessica: Yep, exactly. You see, I haven’t talked to him in like years, but now we can…
Jessica looks at the screen to find she isn’t allowed to view Jared’s pictures
Jessica: Weird, it looks like he hasn’t been online to accept me yet.
Dad: It says he wrote that update thingy fifteen minutes ago, Jess.
Jessica: Hmm, must be a glitch in the system. One thing you’ll learn about Facebook is that it is super glitch! Alright, so anyway, I was just trying to prove the point that it helps you stay in touch with all types of friends. Dad, you know Samantha right?
Dad: The girl who comes around in those inappropriately short jean-shorts?
Dad: Then no…
Jessica: Well, see Facebook is how Samantha and I stay in touch between the times we see each other. Like, we can make wall-posts, or comment on each other’s photos, or …God damnit, Samantha! She freaking told me she would tell me the next time she went camping with Steve and Cody! I was the one who introduced her to them!
Dad: Who are Steve and Cody?
Jessica: No one! I’m just trying to show you that it helps you stay in touch with your friends! Whatever, I probably didn’t even want to go with them anyway.
Jessica takes a deep breath and recollects herself
Jessica: I’m just saying when you are young and have a lot of friends it can be a lot to handle. That’s why us popular kids need a way to keep in touch. Look, I have over 300 friends on-What the hell! 296!
Jessica grabs the monitor and begins shaking it violently
Jessica: I will find out who you deserters are, and you can better believe I won’t EVER like your stupid fallout boy quotes again!!!
Dad: I’m going to bed. Make sure to shut the windows before you go to sleep.
The dad begins to walk up the stairs
Jessica: Allison is on it.
The footsteps going up the stairs come to a stop
Dad: Short jean-shorts girl?
Dad: I’ll sign up tomorrow.