It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Well it isn't really my confession, but my fiancees sister was a total biotch and would break his things if he wouldn't write her college papers for him back when they were both still living at home like his expensive mac book. (She would also constantly be flipping out for no apparent reason at all and was too stupid to write her own papers) Well one night she was writing her last paper for sociology that semester and he was dictating what to write while she typed (I was sitting right there). She ended up submitting a paper praising eugenics and saying that in the 40's there was an attempt to create the perfect human- no direct mention of Nazis. She also had no idea that he spit in her milk every day.

Heather C from GRC

Hey roomie! Sorry for hot gluing down everything loose in the room when you were out getting completely wasted that time. You have to admit that it was pretty funny when you had to go to class and couldn't lift the textbook off of your desk and then started freaking out at the girl down the hall who hated you because you thought she did it. Good times.
Amanda K.

I can deal with walking in on my roommate having sex. I can even deal with walking in on my roommate having sex with himself. I can not deal with walking in on my roommate watching midget porn in 2 PM.
Mike Y. from URI

My roommate was kind of a creeper whenever we went out to the clubs he would constantly stalk girls at the clubs (this is all of course before he got his online girlfriend). Anyway, before this one of my floor mates began texting pretending to be the girl he liked him and we set up a hidden camera in the room. Well you definitely surprised us all when you started fapping hard to the texts. Also that picture was an armpit… not a vagina.
M.H.

So, you know how you treat your girlfriend like shit and basically see her as property? Well, every night when you go to sleep we fuck like Rabbits. Remember that time when we were all watching the Olympics… she was giving me a handy under the blanket while you were playing poker online on your easy-chair. Remember when you demanded to be the only one on the lease and sublet to each of us, well hope you enjoy paying the rent all by yourself when we move out next week. Bon Voyage asshole!
Eric R.

My roommate hacked into my computer and stole my MS Messenger password. Then he used my account to start a fight with my girlfriend as if it were me. Except, I was sitting in the room with her when he tried! This deserved some payback, so next time he left for class I opened his computer, installed a really old HDD and flipped the wires around the power cord. Then I tripped the power to the apt so all the clocks were blinking. When he switched on his computer, the HDD started smoking like crazy and buzzing horribly. Then he ran out of the room and started screaming "This is your fault! You did this!" After defending myself with the help of my girlfriend who swore I was with her the whole time, I smiled and said "OK, prove it…" which he couldn't, of course. Then he asked me to please help him fix it. I was going to give you back your HDD with your data, but your little outburst caused all your data to suddenly disappear. Oh well.
Moff Ongo

So freshman year I was living in a quad and 2 of my roommates were cool but the 3rd was awful. He'd ask us to leave for an hour so he could light candles and masturbate. He'd have his ugly annoying gf over on weekends and have sex with her while the rest of us tried to sleep. He would stay up til 4 am playing fable when most of us had 8am classes. He would freak out and tell us all to stfu so he could write poetry on his typewriter. Yeah, a typewriter. One night he planned on having his gf over so my roommates and I hung all his condoms on the wall with tacks so he wouldn't be able to have sex with her and keep us up all night. I really hope you didn't use one 'cause then we would feel responsible for her pregnancy. Let me know how the kid is.
Matt T

I had this roommate a couple of years ago who was a slutty bitch with daddy problems (sound like any familiar archetype, anyone?). She would make dominatrix films in our room, and sometimes while I was still IN the room, for money and adoration to puff up her already-destroyed self-esteem. Her method of "washing" oily dishes was to run them under the tap for 5 seconds. Every time we met a hot new guy on our floor, she would always try to one-up me with lies like, "Yeah I'm doing a triple degree in [3 bullshit business majors]. It's so hard to concentrate with my roommate watching gay porn all the time!" Well, I hope you enjoyed those hot guys you cockblocked me from meeting, because you forgot that I'm friends with the RA. Indeed, it was us who got you kicked out of housing forever with allegations of attempted homicide (plans for which you posted on FACEBOOK, you dumb bitch). Also, I regularly picked my toejam out with your toothbrush after exercising at the gym.
M.C. from University of Maryland



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