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In the mornings, my girlfriend makes me turn around and look the other way whenever she gets redressed. Despite the fact we spend all-night naked together.


In college I made friends with this totally gorgeous girl who I always had a thing for. Ironically, after she moved away to the big city for her new job, we started getting closer. Having the desire to see the city for a few days and an even bigger desire to get in her pants, I made a deal with her to let me stay at her place for a week and I would clean her place for her. The ending? Bittersweet. Having decided to clean her place first and get the work out of the way, I came upon a pregnancy test, ready-to-go, stashed under some newspapers on her kitchen table. Oh yes. Bitter, because I got none. Sweet because I didn't get tricked into knocking her up!


My ex girlfriend and I had finished watching Paranormal Activity on DVD and she had asked me, "Do you think this was all real?" She asked after watching the alternate endings as well.


The other day while driving around, I was joking with my girlfriend about latinos in sports. I explained (jokingly) that there are no Hispanic baseball players. She turned to me and plainly said "What about Elian Gonzalez?” I just froze. I then asked "What did Elian Gonzalez do?” She said "Well, he was the kid from Mexico that lied about his age to play in the Major Leagues!". I almost wrecked the car…

-Kevin Black

I'm black and 19 years old and my BF is white and 25 years old, but could easily pass for 35. One night we went to the movies and we were one of the only people in the theatre so we started play-wrestling. Jokingly, I shouted "Black on white crime!" very loudly. The few people in the theatre knew I was kidding and ignored us. But when the movie was over and we were leaving the cops were outside and started asking me and my BF a ton of questions. Turns out we had been spotted by the security cameras and they didn't know I was kidding.


My ex-girlfriend wanted to wait a full year after marriage to have sex. When I told her that was ridiculous and I'd only wait until marriage she broke up with me cause I was apparently rushing things.


I started taking my boyfriends pants off for his birthday blowjob. Once they were off he promptly started singing the Dockers commercial "I wear no pants."


I explained to my girlfriend how a vagina looks like an Arby's roast beef sandwich, after she was done laughing I stared very seriously into her eyes and said "I'm thinkin Arby's." So this has become a great way of expressing how horny I am in public…..her friends just think I eat a lot of fast food.