Apollo: Hey, uh, Zeus?
Zeus: Not now. I'm about to seduce a gorgeous woman by turning into a goose. This is going to be so good
Apollo: You're aware that humans don't have sex with geese, right? Seriously. That's not a thing they do.
Zeus: It's totally not some fetish, so just shut up.
Apollo: Whatever. But, uh sir, we just got word: God wants to challenge you.
Zeus: He can get in line, right? Okay, which God? Thor, right? I knew it. I hate that guy
Apollo: No, no. It's just
God. The God's name is 'God', I guess.
seriously? What is he, post-modern or something? Whatever. Who is this guy?
Apollo: He was kind of vague on that too. He just said "I am that which I am". And that his true self was unknowable. you know, stuff like that.
Zeus: Great, just great. A hipster God. Ugh, I bet he has a fedora too
Okay, so what's he going to do? Giants? Lightning hammers? Snake-beasts?
Zeus: Nothing? He's coming down with nothing? For the record, we have a God for ninjas. Seriously, ninjas. And he's not even one of ourgood gods! I think we can handle a little 'nothing' over here. What gives?
Apollo: He says we don't exist.
but he exists?
Zeus: Well, at least he's consistent. What other Gods work for him?
Apollo: No one. It's a one-God operation.
one God!? Just one? Bwahahahahah! That
that's hilarious. Now I just feel bad for him. Man, who are this suckers' people!?
Apollo: The Jews.
Zeus: The perpetually persecuted former slave people who we exiled from their land?
Zeus: Yeah, that sounds about right
Apollo: Cold, dude.
Zeus: Hey, I kid, I kid. He's got his own people though? Huh. Not bad for a start-up God
you know, we could use more gods like that
Apollo: Zeus, are you serious?
Zeus: It's not a bad idea, You know, to go minimalist. It's elegant. Heck we're so chock full of Gods up here I had to Google them. And I'm Zeus!
Apollo: Yeah, a fresh perspective might help, actually
Zeus:Tell you what; lets offer this guy an internship. I bet he'll piss himself to be working for old Zeusy. Heck, a guy without giants should be thrilled with a merger.
Apollo: Great, I'll get started on-
Rhea: Actually, he plans on methodically destroying us and our legacy, and reducing our once great and prominent religion into a short unit kids do a play on in fifth-grade.
what are you, the Greek God of bitching?
Zeus: Why do we even have a God for that!? Forget it. I am so done with this. I'm going to leave Mount Olympus and screw him so bad it's like he's a human and I'm a hot, sexy goose. Where is he?
ApolloWell, hard to say. He just called that he exists forever and everywhere at the same time, for all time, with "one-two-three no backsies".
Apollo: Yeah. He's good.
Zeus: I hate this guy so much.