Halloween Costume >>> Laundry Day Outfit
Ok, seriously. You have to do the laundry. And you have to wear clothes to do the laundry. That's the paradox which has painted you into this corner, but don't worry! With a little creativity and a lot of desperation, you can turn your Halloween costume into technically some clothing. Stay in character and maybe no one will realize it's you who haven't done laundry for a full semester
Boyfriend's Old Jersey >>> Slutty Shirt/Dress
The thoughtful, loving, and over-sized reminder of your high school relationship can easily be used to make new "friends." Just make some modifications around the waist and/or neckline and throw the shirt on over some short shorts, or nothing at all.
Sweatshirt Liner >>> AWESOME 3EB Shirt
Every sweatshirt worn demands an equally embarrassing t-shirt to be hidden underneath it. You may think that Third Eye Blind swag you bought online--not even at a concert--back in '04 is too much of a liability to ever see the light of day, but pair it with that hoodie that you wear every day and you'll be that chill dude with the hilarious throwback t-shirt. Don't worry, people will get it; it's not like you're really into their latest album or anything.
Athletic Gear >>> Freshman 15 Bib
While your gym membership may have devolved to dining hall decadence, there is no reason to waste valuable clothing. Take that old Under Armour muscle shirt and tie it around your neck to make a fully functioning bib so you don't have to worry about your third helping of lasagna getting all over your shirt. And, because of Under Armour's dry-weave technology, soda, juice, and tears will wick away without a problem.
Free T-Shirts >>> Everything
The one commonality between all colleges around the world is the abundance of free t-shirts. It takes a certain breed of student (read: lazy and cheap) to realize that these shirts can not only be used on the torso, but can literally clothe every other part of your body as well. We recommend "free t-shirt gloves," "free t-shirt culottes," and "free t-shirt glasses." In a pinch, free t-shirts also make great decorations, bed sheets, and food.