My girlfriend is coming to visit for the first time in about a month, so I came up with a checklist of things I needed to do beforehand. Here's what I came up with:

1. Clean room

2. Go to store, buy: liquor, massage oils, condoms, kleenex, febreeze

3. Make reservations for dinner Saturday night

4. Clear Internet history

5. Masturbate

5a. Use massage oils, kleenex and febreeze

6. Clear Internet history

7. Shower

8. Take out garbage