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One summer in High School my friend decided to throw a party for all of our friends. Two of my exes were still good friends of mine and they were of course invited. Well as the night went on everyone was playing truth or dare and making confessions. When It was one of my ex's turns, he admitted he had a confession about me. We hadn't dated in over a year so I told him it wouldn't bother me. His confession: he had cheated on me with a guy, the same guy I dated later on and was now my other ex sitting right there…my ex-boyfriends cheated on me with each other.
My girlfriend and I stayed one weekend at her cousin's place, and slept in the tiny spare room which had an even smaller en-suite bathroom, complete with a sliding door and paper-thin walls. When we got into bed, she suddenly felt like she had diarrhea and needed to shit A.S.A.P. This has happened before, but with the other times, she just went home early and we didn't spend the night together. So she rushes to the crapper and seems to lose half her intestines into it for about 5 minutes. Meanwhile, I'm lying on the bed a few feet away, laughing my ass off knowing that I can pretty much fart as much as I like around her now and get away from it. Uber-gross experience, but so worth it
I recently travelled overseas for a few weeks. While overseas I received a phone call from a friend telling me that my now ex-boyfriend had started sleeping with a married woman almost as soon as I left the country. So during my holiday I decided it was a great idea to have a one night stand with a guy I met in a tattoo shop. It was great until he mentioned that he had a girlfriend. of 4 years. I now feel as horrible as my dog of an ex was to me.
My girlfriend just said to me, "I tried to take a picture of the reflection of my butt in the toilet water because when the poop was coming out, it looked like a penis." That's getting a little too comfortable.
When having sex last night, me on top, my boyfriend tried to slap my ass and ended up smacking his balls instead. Confused by what had just happened, I clung on to him, and while he did barrel rolls on the bed in agony, I went along for the ride.