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My (ex) boyfriend had a 3 year old sister who liked to follow us around. One morning, we were making out in the living room and we hadn't noticed she had crawled on the couch to watch us. After we finally did see her, we stopped, embarrassed, and he told her to go play. She ran to her mom in the next room and we hear her mother yell, "Why are you trying to lick me?!" The little girl was trying to make out with her mother….


Fortunately, my girlfriend took sexy nude pictures with my cell phone when I left it at her place…Unfortunately, she didn't tell me and I gave my phone to my brother to take to a party because his phone was dead…Even more unfortunately, I found the pictures on the internet and I have no idea how to tell my girlfriend.

-Mike D.

My (ex) girlfriend thought Alaska was an island.


I was dating a girl for about 9 months and things had hit a rough patch. I stuck with her throughout and did everything to make it work. Things seemed to finally be getting better, and she asked me to visit her while she was on vacation with her family. I drove 3 hours to go visit her, and we had a great time. On my way back home I get lost so I call her. She doesn’t answer, but seconds later she texts me saying that she wants to break up with me. I sat on the side of the road not knowing whether to call her back or find my way home.


I started seeing a girl who is an aquaintance of my long-time ex. Things were going great amd starting to get serious when she suddenly tells me that she can't continue seeing me until I tell my ex about what's been going on. I thought it was a reasonable request, so I talked to my ex about it, and while she wasn't mad, told me that it ended any chance of us ever getting back together. The next day I called the new girl to tell her that I told my ex, and that we don't have to keep "us" a secret anymore, and she tells me "There is no 'us'" and proceeds to break it off with me… awesome


After being with my girlfriend for eleven months she left me and almost immediately got with a guy who used to be my best friend. I soon found out that she had been in love with him for months and thought that he was deeper and nicer and more caring and understanding than me. She was just leading me on. So after seven months they split up. Not only was I delighted that he didn't last as long as me, but I also learned that he dumped her by text. Needless to say, high fives will ensue as soon as I see him again.


This Week’s, “Total Overkill” Award Goes To:

Last year, after dating for about year and a half, my girlfriend left to travel for the summer. Two days before I was to see her again she calls to break up with me. The usual it's not you it's me crap. Well, that and the guy she was cheating on me with. I used the opportunity to explain in great detail what a complete bitch she was. So much so that she was in tears for breaking up with me. Now the fun part. Remember now, she's gone, and won't be home for over a month. So, I logged into her facebook and deleted everything. Every friend, picture, post, comment, etc. You name it, it was gone. But I left the profile so she could log in and see my handiwork. Then, I logged into her school account and dropped her out of her classes. I also adjusted her account settings, as well as address and phone number, so that her family wouldn't be notified of the changes while she was gone. I changed her financial information so that she would no longer be getting any financial assistance. Then, I googled to see which were the crappiest dorms on campus, and changed her housing accordingly. She didn't know about any of it for another month, and couldn't do anything to change it for another two weeks after that. Never cheat on a hacker. :)