Ears: Ok, everyone, that’s the alarm. Time to get up.

Brain: …urg.

Ears: Oh, shut up brain. What are you complaining about? I’m the one who has to listen to freakin’ Michael Bublé first thing every morning.

Brain: …blurg.

Ears: I swear, if it gets to the chorus and I’m the only one awake for it again, you’re all going to have an ear infection to deal with in about three days.

Brain: Ok, ok, I’m up. Look, sorry about Michael Bublé. He just really likes “Haven’t Met You Yet,” and this is the only time he can listen to it without anyone else knowing.

Penis: But what if some girl sleeps over?

Stomach: Seriously? Have you seen me lately?

Penis: em>Sigh Yeah, I have…damn it.

Brain: Come on, guys, figuring out how to get someone to spend the night here is a problem for four in the morning, not seven in the morning. Let’s focus on getting the eyes open right now.

Eyes: No.

Ears: Come on, eyes, we’re almost at the second verse already. Let’s get going.

Eyes: It’s still dark out. It’s illegal to be awake when it’s still dark out.

Brain: Eyes, we go through this every morning. You only think it’s still dark out because you’re closed. If you just open, you’ll realize the sun’s up.

Eyes: …No. I’m pretty sure you’re lying this time.


Eyes: (fly open) What! Where?!

Brain: Over there, on the Jessica Alba poster.

Penis: You are a cruel, cruel organ.

Brain: Ok, next step: get out of the bed. You ready, legs?

Legs: Are you kidding? That floor is going to be colder than the icy hearts of people who don’t enjoy the smooth rhythms of Michael Bublé. Wake me up when we can afford carpeting.

Brain: Aha! You see, we’re not going to be able to afford carpeting unless we go to work, therefore we need to…umm…use the floor to…no, wait…we need to…ugh, I think it might be too early for logic.

Hands: You know when it won’t be too early for logic? Five minutes from now.

Brain: That’s true! I’m sure in five minutes I’ll be able to think at full capacity.

Legs: The floor will definitely be nice and warm by then, too.

Eyes: And it will be bright enough to get me open without resorting to dirty tricks.

Penis: And there’s a chance a real hot girl will be in the room instead of just a poster of one!

Ears: No! Hands, please, do NOT hit the snooze alarm. I can’t handle “Haven’t Met You Yet” twice in one morning.

Brain: Relax, ears. The song is about to end. You won’t have to listen to it again.

Ears: Phew. So what’s next on the playlist?

Eyes: “California Gurls.”

Ears: …You are a cruel, cruel organ.

Brain: Ok, but if he secretly likes the song…then you should…umm, then you should also…like…urg. Hands, you know what to do.

Hands: I’m on it. See everyone in five minutes.

Penis: And eyes, let’s make sure this time we fall asleep looking at just the Jessica Alba poster instead of the Jessica Alba one and the Muppets one, ok? Those dreams made me way too uncomfortable.