Guy: Hey baby (Kisses girl) the necklace looks great.
Girl: I know! Thank you so much, it’s perfect.
Guy: Really? Are you sure?
Girl: Of course I’m sure, it’s wonderful. It must have cost a fortune.
Guy: Yeah. (Pause) Are you sure? The chain looks like it might be a little long, I can exchange it.
Girl: No, this is exactly the right length. I love it.
Guy: It looks long.
Girl: Nope.
Guy: Uhh, is it shiny enough?
Girl: What?
Guy: It looks like it might be a little dull. Let me take it back to the jewelry store to get it shined up for you.
Girl: That’s ridiculous, it’s fine, really.
Guy: Does the clasp work and everything? Can I look at it for a second? (Grabs at her neck)
Girl: (Pulling away) Stop it. What are you doing?
Guy: Just- look- the necklace is on sale.
Girl: What?
Guy: It’s on sale. At the store where I got it. They put it on sale today because it’s the day after Valentines.
Girl: And you want to return it and buy it back?
Guy: Exactly.
Girl: So I’m worth less to you than you originally thought?
Guy: It’s half off!
Girl: You’re ridiculous, this is so typical of you. Only caring about yourself.
Guy: Well what did you get me yesterday, a fucking t-shirt?
Girl: And I wrote a poem!
Guy: Fuck that. And you got me a medium shirt- I’m a large.
Girl: You wear your clothes too baggy!
Guy: Go to hell. And your poem? “Home” and “none” don’t rhyme, idiot.
Girl: (Crying, removes necklace and throws it to the ground) I hate you. (Runs away)
Guy: Yes.