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Freshman year me and a close friend got into a little pranking battle. It began with minor things but quickly escalated. Being freshman our dorm rooms were pieces of crap and had unmovable furniture. The redeeming feature was a latch of sorts under our mattress to a little Anne Frank hole that could easily fit a couple people. He decided to punk me by stuffing every single item in my room from my posters, clothing, tv, computer, books, and hot pockets into that hole. I laughed it off, and 3 hours later my room was back to normal. Two days later, he did it again. Now I was pissed, I decided that I needed to enlist his girlfriend to get him hammered drunk and I would antique him. Plan goes well, hes passed out I run in the room full speed and dump two full bags of flour on him. 2 minutes later I realize he hasn't woken up, and I have covered his mouth and nose with a pound of flour thus suffocating him. Luckily we got him cleaned up and manslaughter charges weren't in my future.
S.K. from John Carroll
My roommate is an interesting character, he somehow manages to be a confident, cocky, irritating ass while being a loser shut-in who can never pry himself away from warcraft. Like most crappy roommates he leaves his dishes around for days at a time, and there's a constant stench wafting out of his room. He also leaves his '92 Plymouth mini-van blocking our garage so no one else can park/leave the house. Needless to say I was delighted to sign for his "how 2 talk to hot women" DVD', pictures of which "magically"made their way to a number of our co-workers. Clean up your life, don't be a prick, and get out a little more often and maybe this wouldn't happen. Jackass
I never actually DID something to my roommate. Despite him eating all my food and never doing any dishes. So, one day that I knew he was home, I opened up Roommate Confessions and started laughing. I sent him a link and suddenly my food stop being eaten. I wonder what happened.
I lived with some pretty bitchy girls one of which was a spoiled brat whose parents paid for everything. She would leave dishes congealed with food for days until someone else eventually caved in and cleaned them. She also refused to chip in 5 quid one month to pay the internet bill, even though I paid it myself every other
month that year. Well to get her back I used her blender to blend a slug, I knew she probably wouldn't wash it before using it again. Hope it was tasty. Oh and also, just to piss all of them off I used to switch the gas heater in the living room off whenever I went home for a week because I was the only one who had bothered to learn how to use it. Extremely fun in the middle of winter. Serves them right.
So my roommate is NASTY. Constantly leaving out food and soup bowls everywhere. We had just signed up for some delicious cable internet, and it turns out his room has the best connection. So when something goes wrong i have to go in that room to fix it, because its so bad the cable company refused to do it. My roommate went on a trip so while he was gone I took some sugar and put it in every bowl of food left out in his room and supercharged the mold growth. You can't open that door without gagging. Cheers!
My roommate had an obnoxious girlfriend who day in and day out always parked in my parking spot at the apartment. Every day after class I'd have to drive around the block looking for on-street parking. This got old fast, and even after I approached her about it, she continued to park in my spot that I paid for. She had a really nice BMW that her daddy paid for, but she had one bad habit. She always forgot to close the sunroof. I decided to get some revenge. I'm a chemistry major, and I have access to the substance mercaptoethanol, which has a lovely combination smell of rotting flesh, skunk juice, and shit. One drop, makes for a really widespread nasty odor. I swiped a small amount of mercaptoethanol, and when she stayed the night (sunroof open on car overnight of course), I went outside, and put drops of it throughout the car. She had to junk the car because no one would buy it with that horrific odor, and she couldn't drive it for the same reasons :) Don't piss off a chem major.
I had 3 roommates in my dorm, 1 was alright, the other 2 were roommates from hell! One of them was your average self righteous womanizing prick, he would pick up girls and drop them when they refuse to put out. He would also leave his music on at all hours of the day. One day I decided to get him back, he walked into his room to hook up and suddenly his music started blaring out J. Bieber, then the speakers blurred and died a smokey death. Well the girl laughed at him and left after hearing this. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH US NERDS
So I was using my roommate's laptop once because mine had broke, I was so grateful he had let me borrow it only to find naked pictures of him and my now ex girlfriend together. So in payback without me saying anything about it I sent those pictures to my girlfriend's dad. Then I ripped and threw away all her poetry she had for so many years been working on. And for my dear friend I destroyed his Xbox 360 with all his games and comic books. Not before already having a safe place to move of course.
My roommate is constantly treating her boyfriend like shit. He lives 4 hours away and always brings flowers with him and she bitches about how the flowers are the wrong cut or they look cheap. So long story short, all the times where she leaves the room to take a shower or just leaves her boyfriend alone with me, I started to talk with him about how she treats him. Over time we grew fond of each other and now I will drive 4 hours to his place and we fuck like rabbits all weekend. This year I finish my degree and she still has 1 year left, so we planned to fuck like crazy and see each other for 1 year before he breaks up with her. I can't wait to see her reaction!
Amanda M. from Yale
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