I texted my friends exboyfriend Harrison as "Jordan"…it lasted 4 days before he realized that the female Jordan he thought he was talking to was actually male jordan….

Me: Hey dollface…you+me later tonight my place i'm hornier than a fucking rose bush…speaking of bush you can get all caught up in mine…clothes optional

Him: Who is this?

Me: Your worst fucking nightmare…just kidding but seriously lets get it on

Him: I would love to if i knew who u were =P

Me: You wanna find out the fun way?

Him: Wuts ur name?

Me: Jordan…And i'm horny for youuu ;)

Him: Jordan *******?

Me: Nope…Jordan *****…We gonna fuck or not?

Him: How old are you girl?

Me: 16…You a virgin?

Him: You are Jordan *******?

Me: Do you remember me or not?

Him: Send me a pic of urself so i can remember

Him: Then i'm down

Me: How do you not fucking remember me?? And i don't 
have a camera on my phone or else i total would 

Him: I do remember you girl i'm down

Me: Haha you're fucking cute…where and when? I'm free all week!

Me: Can I tell you a dirty secret?

Him: sure babe

Me: I'm touching myself ;)

Him: O u r now…have you been a bad little girl?

Me: I'm so we i'm flooding my fucking bedroom…and i'm so 
lonely :(

Him: O ya babe rub it n' I wish ii was with you right now I 
would fuck you so hard

Me: How big are you? Don't fucking lie i want to imagine its 
you

Him: A good 7.8 to 8.2 when i'm really horny i can go 
bigger ;)

Me: Mmmm yummy :) i want that 8 to fill me up until you fucking rip me apart

Him: O ya baby u will like it

Me: Hey guess what… I just came, thinking of your fat cock

Him: Thatta girl ;)

Me: (A bit later) Hey sorry i couldn't find my phone! You still 
horny?

Him: Sup girl. I just got my nut out like an hour ago loll I want u

Me: How many times can you in a day?

Him: 2 to 3

Him: When I don't do it for a few days I can fuck for a whole day

Me: When was the last time you fucked anybody?

Him: Been a lil I'm due ;)

Him: How's sunday for u?

Me: Do you even remember my name?

Him: Ya jordan ****

Me: Damn you're good ;) not jordan ******* loll…i was just looking through some texts….i don't want you to 
confuse me with her 

Him: haha ok do u have aim or u think u can send me a pic 
of yourself at all babe?

Me: Sorry cutie pie im not home right now :( maybe later

Him: O ya babe i'm your cutie n our my baby girl

Me: what would do to me right now?

Him: Right now? i would totally make out with u heavily and just make u scream baby

Me: It takes a lot more than making out to make me scream ;)

Him: Noo i said make u scream that means do much more to u baby

Me: Then why would i be screaming?

Him: Lol u wouldn't id just u should wait and see about the enjoyment ;)

Me: You've never done this before have u loll

Him: No i have I'm just a little outta it right now girl. Been at school n work n dealing with a shit load of plans and parties

Him: So i guess i'll hit u up tomorrow babe. im good on sunday if u r

NEXT DAY
Him: wus sup?

Me: Hey buttercup ;)

Me: (A little later) Mmmm please text me back i can't do this alone ;)

Him: (Later) Sup babe wut u doin?

Me: Well i was fucking myself with a cucumber but now im listening to music…you?

Him: Wow girl we need to fuck. Jcin' getting ready for school tomorrow

Me: I'm going to bed now…i think i'll masturbate one more time…i can literally do i like 6 times a day…send me the dirtiest, sexiest text for me to think about…good night my little fuck muffin

NEXT DAY

Me: Hey cupcake can i slam your arm up my ass hole i'm frisky for some anal…lets fire and ice this shit

Him: Can i see u sunday?

Him: I'll do whatever you want ;)

Me: Like what?

Him: Like whatever, i can see u sunday

Me: Idk if i'm free sunday

Him: Then when r u…maybe fri?

Me: (Later) Can i tell u how luck i feel to have met you?

Me: Are you there hot stuff?

NEXT DAY

Him: Fell asleep. Ur lucky babe and I'm lucky to have met u.

Me: I know i am :) i'm so lucky to have found another man as horny and eager as me

Him: What do u want to do to me? ;)

Me: I would suck your dick then shove mine in your ass

Him: Youre a fucking guy?!?!?!

Me: Uh yeah i thought you fucking remembered me…

Him: Bro I'm not fucking GAY

Him: And where the fuck did i meet u?!

Him: You fuck yourself with a cucumber? What the fuck is wrong with u

Me: I thought u were interested in me :(…and we met at a party i was with my friend jennifer id whose house though! And yes every gay uses a toy!

Him: Bro every party i've been to in my life i've been high! Drunk and hooked up with chicks

Him: I'm straight man

Me: Oh fuck seriously? You seemed so interested though and said you remembered me :( I'm still down to fuck if you're horny though

Him: Bro what party and when was this?

Me: It was a couple of weeks ago i didn't know whose party it was i just went with a friend 

Him: Was it that al party? how did u get my number?

Me: Maybe…i think it might have been…and you gave it to me…thats why i thought u were interested…i really thought 
you were going to fuck me that night loll

Him: Lol wrong guy bro

Him: I got with 3 chicks at that party

Me: Well i thought you were gonna get with me too :(…this is harrison right?

Him: Yeah it's harrison…our a guy bro. i'm not interested in guys. i like the pussy bro sorry no sausage for me

Him: U musta met another gay harrison or some shit

Me: Damn i thought you were…you come off as the sausage type :(…harrison ******? Smoking hot six pack, scorching eyes? you told me you'd fuck me if you were drunk enough! I wasn't drinking so i remember it pretty well…

Him: Dude where was this…Was it at that pool party? I was rollin n' i would never fuck a guy

Him: Do u have a facebook?

Me: I did by my exboyfriend kept harassing me on it so i deleted it…i'm actually a little heartbroken right now so i think it would just be best if we didn't text anymore…just know how much i truly thought you were gorgeous and how i'll think about your eight inch cock every time i'm slamming a cucumber or kiwi up my ass while masturbating into a shot glass :(

Me: And in case you ever change your mind, just remember…I swallow and i'm waxed ;)