INT. REALITY – AIRPLANE
(Cobb, Eames, Fischer, Yusuf, Arthur, Saito and Ariadne go to sleep.)
INT. LEVEL 1 – WAREHOUSE BACK ROOM
(Fischer and Browning/Eames are held captive.)
Browning/Eames: Do you remember how we got here?
Fischer: No, not really. I was on the plane then I was here.
Browning/Eames: That’s so odd.
Fischer: Oh my god, this is a dream.
Browning/Eames: A what?
Fischer: They told me this might happen.
Browning/Eames: What? Who?
(Fischer starts to unzip his pants.)
Browning/Eames: What are you doing?
Fischer: My dream; I’ll do what I want.
Browning/Eames: Oh my god, are you?
(Fischer starts beating off.)
Eames: Ugh. Cobb! Get in here!
Cobb: Eames, what…
(Cobb realizes what’s going on.)
Cobb: Whoa! Okay. Umm…wow. I was not expecting that.
(Arthur comes in.)
Arthur: What’s the hold up?
(Arthur sees what’s going on.)
Arthur: Awww, Jesus. What the fuck is he doing?
Eames: I think it’s pretty obvious, luv.
Arthur: (Laughing) Hey Ariadne!
Ariadne: What? Aw, man! You guys are gross.
Cobb: Enough screwing around. Let’s just get him hooked up for the next level.
INT. LEVEL 2 HOTEL BAR
(Cobb and Fischer sit opposite each other.)
Cobb: Remember we discussed this. I’ve been planted here just in case someone tries to infiltrate your mind through your dreams.
(Fischer stares at him a bit, thinking.
He turns and starts masturbating.)
Cobb: What the hell?! Okay, next level down!
EXT. LEVEL 3 – SNOWY MOUNTAIN NEAR MILITARY BASE
(Ariadne and Cobb stand on the top of a mountain with their snow gear on.)
Cobb: Okay! We have to infiltrate the base. Ariadne, you’re with me. Eames! You’re with Fisch- Oh! Come on!
(Eames stands confused.)
(He looks down. His hand is in Fischer’s pants. )
Eames: Aww, man! Not cool!
Cobb: Okay, this isn’t gonna work. Saito’s dead.
(Saito lies bled out on the ground.)
Cobb: My wife keeps screwing crap up.
(Mal strangles Ariadne.)
Mal: It’s not my fault you keep marrying crazies.
Cobb: And we can’t even begin to implant an idea in this guy’s head because he won’t stop whacking it.
Fischer: When it’s your dream, you can do whatever you want.
(Cobb shoots Fischer in the head.)
Eames: What about your kids?
Cobb: I’ll just move them to France.
INT. REALITY - AIRPLANE
Everybody wakes up groggy.
Cobb exchanges smiles with everyone.
He gets to Fischer.
Cobb: God dammit!
Fischer is turned in on himself, whacking it.