It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 7 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
J.C. from NYU
So, within my first week of college, my roommate had already locked me out (four times), thrown away all my food (it was ruining her "vibe") and smeared some sticky, black paste all over my bed ("for the spirits"). Then, a couple of days ago, I walked in on her hanging a tiny voodoo doll with my face on a little noose made of dental floss in the bathroom. Yeah. I was a little scared. So, I was the theatre star in high school and my friend works in special effects. We set up a little scare for her. Needless to say, my roomie gave up the whole creeper thing when she saw me laying in the bathroom, "dead" and covered in "blood." Maybe I went a little too far, leaving a rope noose on her bed. When she came back an hour later, I pretended like she had imagined the entire thing. Now she is the best roomie ever! Love ya Katie!
Okay so this one time I had this annoying, whiny snotty roommate who was always naked in his own room. Whenever someone knocked or came by he would quickly throw on these loose basketball shorts without underwear and quickly greet whoever it was with only the shorts on. One day he pissed me off badly so I went into his room, took his beloved basketball shorts and cut a large hole in them right around the crotch. That day, his family was visiting so I purposely left a hustler in his room ten minutes before they were coming. When his family knocked on his door ready to greet him, he walked out in his shorts sporting a full on, fully
exposed boner with a little pre cum right at the tip. His kid sisters ran out the door screaming at the top of their lungs and his mother slapped him in the face. Now his sisters are going through family therapy- which he is paying $300 a session for. Hahahaha Sorry for that, bro. But you told people my haircut looks like a 80 year old lesbian's.
One day while I was at work my roommate texted me and asked if it was cool if he had some friends over that night for a bar-b-q. I told him I didn't mind and made plans to sleep at my girlfriend's house so I could get some sleep. When I got home the next day, I go to use the bathroom and find that it smells like old piss in our bathroom. After doing my thing I go to wash and dry my hands and notice my hand towel isn't where it's supposed to be. I look around and find it tucked under the bathroom rug soaked in piss (it was also perfectly folded for some odd reason). I told my roommate and he said he'll look into it. So he washed it and it still smelled the piss. Needless to say I threw the hand towel away. I have been and will continue to dry my balls and ass off after every shower with his hand towel until he replaces mine.
I lived in the dorms my freshman year. I had a private room, but shared a suite with 4 other girls. The girl in the adjoining room was really nice and a good roomie, until her boyfriend/random guy would come over to have sex. She must have had no idea how loud she was moaning because she literally sounded like a cow with a megaphone. She did this at least once every two weeks and I would usually go and chill in my friend's room until she was finished. Finally, we got tired of hearing the bedroom antics so I turned on the beginning of 'Pretty Fly for a White Guy' where it shouts 'Give it to me baby, ah ha ah ha'. We sang along with it as loud as we could. Never heard another peep until we moved out.
Brittney O. from McNeese State
So my roommate was pretty normal for the first couple weeks. Then one day I come home to her sitting on MY bed, butt naked and sobbing. Apparently, this was the first time she had her period without her mom to help. Aside from the creepiness (what would her mom help with?!) I soon realized she had bled allllll over my bed. She is also afraid of adhesives (i.e. tape, glue, etc.) for some irrational reason. So, when I left for the weekend, I may or may not have taped her toilet and the fridge closed, and put white glue on all of her belongings. Apparently she called 911, and had to go back home for some "therapeutic break time." Oh well. I guess that now she can all the help she wants from her mom when it's her time of the month again. Ew.
My roommate, Don, was a bully He knocked books out off of my my desk as I was studying, peed on as much of my property as he could, and stole stole what wasn't peed on. I watched "Harold and Kumar"" as I studied, and he was particularly proud of stealing it. I watched it so often was because I liked listening to the guy tell Harold "the universe tends to unfold as it should." One night while I was visiting my brother, Don had sex with my girlfriend of 2 years. He was sure to let me know it when I returned. I was pissed, but decided I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of me. Thing is, my girl friend was fed up with my turning the other cheek and took action. There's a reason our relationship is "condom only." it's because she's had herpes since her late teens. As upset as I was with her, watching reality set in on Don's face after I told him, and seeing him freak out and tear up the room after, made forgiving her that much easier.
Travis D. from University of Kentucky